I think I’ve been self conscious for as long as I can remember.
I’m not sure when it started, I have never been happy with the way I look, I’ve never been happy with the way my face looks, the fact that when I smile too large you can see my gums.
Maybe it started around year 6, when, for a project regarding advertising, we videoed a make-over and then sped it up. The make-over was of me, done by the two other girls in my group. We showed it to the class, and I distinctly remember a boy remark, “She’s still just as ugly”, I remember that moment pretty clearly, it wasn’t like the video was something that everyone was made to sit down for, it was actually being used for the big final project, but the teacher felt it would be nice to have it playing in the background of our working.
My self-consciousness got a lot worse in year seven, I didn’t have many friends, and there was an influx of new kids, most of whom were the sporty, skinny, pretty sorts of girls. In my eyes, I was none of that.
I’m not really sure where I am going with this, just trying to explain the reason behind my self-consciousness, maybe.
Anyway, there were also a lot of girls with, basically, large busts. And I have never really had big breasts, I was terribly self-conscious in that aspect, I’m over it now, I thought that guys would only ever like girls with large busts, I realise now that is utter bullcrap, and I really don’t mind so much about my bust anymore. I just find it funny how I was so fixated on the fact that my bust size was such a massive problem.
And look at me, spilling on the internet, probably not a good idea