I don’t know how I can stop feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts / ideas. Should I go on medication for depression?

I do everything healthy that I can :

I read a lot of books, eat healthy, exercise daily, pray, meditate, go out in nature, go to church, smile, help people, stay active, paint, write, work, etc.

But I find myself still consistently struggling with depression.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I am unsure about getting on anti depressants….... but I feel so sad….... Even when I have moments of happiness…..

I want to be a mommy and have children someday. But I fear I would have severe postpartum depression or that I’d pass it on to my kids.

I don’t know what to do.

I’ve seen different therapists and psychologists throughout the years since highschool and I don’t feel like it’s helped depression. I don’t know what to do. Should I keep finding a therapist I can bond with? Should I go on antidepressants? I feel sad every single day and I don’t know what to do about it. I need some honest genuine advice…. I’m hurting a lot right now and don’t know who to talk to or what to do. I don’t want to call a suicidal hotline because they record the conversations.

I don’t know what else I can do to alleviate the depression.

Topics: life, friends, love, people, family, depression, happiness, strength, fear, suicide, hope