What I’m writing is strictly about me.
I had a breakdown.
I remember an inability to concentrate. My mind would not hold a thought steady. It couldn’t. It was impossible.
I was certain that I had mountains of problems, and I could not think of just one. However, at the same time, I could not see the whole mountain. It was a jumble of feelings.
There was a general feeling of impending doom. I could not put this feeling as the result of anything in particular. It did not seem to be the result of one thing. It was wide and general and unformed.
I have to reiterate the lack of the ability to concentrate. It was terrible.
I behaved recklessly regarding my personal safety and health.
All this led me to the hospital ER. I was seen by a psychiatrist. I was not hospitalized at that time, but I can see now it was advisable. I was hospitalized some time later, and it helped a great deal.
I got help. This breakdown ultimately led to being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which led to receiving prescriptions for medication. The medicine helps enormously.
I use therapy, too. I get great benefit from talking about all the stuff going on every other week with a person who is not emotionally attached to any outcome. The beauty of therapy is that the therapist is only a very loose guide. I am actually making my own way through my own issues.
I also meditate and exercise (which is on hiatus due to plantar faciitis). Sleep is important, too. I need to rest. It resets all my insides.
My story has a happy ending. All the things I do to maintain my recovery work. I am in a very good space at present, and I have every reason to expect it too continue.