Social Question

chyna's avatar

Do you think the mom should be somewhat responsible?

Asked by chyna (51565points) October 7th, 2016
33 responses
“Great Question” (3points)

A horrific crime occurred in my area this week. A man raped, beat and choked a 9 month old baby. She died a day later. Of course he is in jail with no bond and faces life for murder. The mother has 3 other children and had just met the man a couple of weeks earlier and invited him to live with her. She had nothing to do with the murder. It occurred while she was asleep.
There are some saying she needs to be held accountable for letting a man she didn’t even know live with her and her kids. Do you agree and if so, what kind of accountability should she be held to?

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Answers

MrGrimm888's avatar

Well. From the limited information I have, I’d say she’s liable too. But obviously the perpetrator is the one in the wrong.

tinyfaery's avatar

I think she has suffered enough. Unless she is inhuman she has to feel so guilty and hurt. She made bad choices, of course, but who could have predicted that?

Coloma's avatar

WTF!
WHO the hell would invite someone to live with them and their children within a couple weeks of meeting? The mom certainly is liable for having the intelligence of an Earthworm. A deadly poor choice for sure but not sure if you can prosecute someone on stupidity alone.

If that were the case our prisons would be even more overcrowded than they already are. RIP precious little baby and I hope that monster gets raped in prison every-single-day for the rest of his pathetic life.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh my god. What’s to stop it from happening again?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Wait..how could she have been sleeping? The baby had to be screaming…did they say?

chyna's avatar

He took the baby into the basement.

SmashTheState's avatar

Fucking Amerikans are always looking for reasons to punish people. The whole ugly culture is based on finger-pointing. The Amerikan left is always looking for reasons to create victims and the right is always looking for reasons to create supervillains. The entire nation is based on comic book morality made for 9 year olds where every problem has a Good Guy and a Bad Guy and can be solved by beefy, homoerotic men in leotards punching each other in the face. They’ve constructed an increasingly oppressive police state to keep their corporate prisons packed and their police departments well-lubricated with guns and money.

What the fuck good does looking for people to punish do for a dead baby? It’s not going to bring it back to life. It’s just shovelling more lives down the shitter for no better purpose than making emotional infants feel better about themselves by sating their bloodlust.

“Nobody’s creepy from the inside, Hazel. Some of them are sad, and some of them are hurt, and some of them think they’re the only real thing in the whole world, but they’re not creepy.”Death of the Endless, The Time of Your Life, Neil Gaiman

cinnamonk's avatar

Calling for a public hanging is just barbaric and solves nothing.

Of course the mother bears responsibility, but unless she knowingly brought a child rapist into her house, I think it safe to say that she’s been punished enough.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Jesus. His Facebook cover photo… bears the words ‘I will never apologize for being a sex freak’ and in the next breath it says, “Emmaleigh’s mother and surviving siblings were victims in this and are guilty only of placing trust in the hands of a ‘wolf in sheep’s clothing’.

Ah, God.

I think he deserves the death penalty.

Sneki95's avatar

…..sensationalism?..

ucme's avatar

Believe me, i’m so sickened to my core that my rage only has one target, the sick fuck who did this.
He & those like him deserve to die, end of.

Coloma's avatar

@SmashTheState So you think baby rapers and killers should just be given a slap on the wrist and turned loose to rape and kill again? Yeah, that’s the solution to managing violent losers. I know let’s have them do community service in day care facilities! Pffft!
And, yes, any women with children that moves some strange dude into her house within a few weeks of meeting is a negligent parent.

Coloma's avatar

@Dutchess_III @ucme Yep, firing squad time if you ask me. “You have been found guilty of the rape and murder of an infant, please kneel on the pavement.”

Coloma's avatar

I’ll add that I was vehemently opposed to the death penalty for decades but, I have shifted my stance in the last handful of years when it comes to the worst of the worst. I don’t care how troubled your childhood was, short of extreme mental illness that can be proven to be of a psychotic nature with no comprehension of reality, you make your choices and there are plenty of people that survived abusive and crappy childhoods that didn’t grow up to be baby rapers. There is no rehabbing the most violent, sadistic and psychopathic offenders and they need to be swiftly culled from the herd of humanity, of which they are not a member.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

From a legal standpoint, she is not, so whatever standpoint is left is moot. These days people are legally able to shack up with whom they feel. If they make a bad choice, they made a bad choice, but they had the legal ability to make poor choices. If lack of wisdom makes her responsible or culpable, then she would, but that is not a card on the table.

jca's avatar

Criminally, no. From a Child Protective standpoint, they will probably remove the other children (if there are other children) from her custody until the investigation is over. There will be a separate case that goes through family court where they investigate from the child protective standpoint, and probably recommend some type of counseling and stuff like that.

jca (36062points)“Great Answer” (3points)
Coloma's avatar

@jca Yes, too bad for the trauma the other children will have to endure, not only the loss of their baby sister but being placed in a foster care situation. Poor children. Some women can be so stupid when it comes to romantic involvements when they have children.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Shacking up has never been “illegal,” @Hypocrisy_Central. Strongly frowned upon in years past, but never illegal.

@Coloma And that is precisely why I never had multiple “romantic involvements” after my divorce. I dated only one guy, the same guy, off and on, after my divorce, and before I met Rick, 10 years later.

Coloma's avatar

@Dutchess_III Yep, my daughter was 15 when I divorced and I had zero involvements for about a year after and then I never introduced her to my casual dates, just not necessary.
Had she been a younger child I was always, very staunch, on not bringing home strange men and not even introducing your child to someone until you had been dating a long time, like 6 months to a year and even then, very limited contact unless you were sure the relationship was going to become more serious. Your children come first and you can date on the sly or just not date at all and focus on your children. Nothing wrong with dating but bringing home guy after guy or moving someone in in a short period of time is just wrong IMO.

My ex was living with a women within the 1st 6 months of our divorce of 22 years. My daughter hated the situation. Every new women he completely dumped our daughter in favor of the new squeeze. Of course it didn’t last, rebounds rarely do and he then went on to wrangle up several more women in a short period of time and he finally found someone to marry about 4 years ago.

My daughter can’t stand the women. haha
He’s the type that just can’t be alone and I find that to be a weakness of many single people. Nothing wrong with wanting a relationship but don’t be stupid about it when you have kids and a lot of people are, right down to completely abandoning their kids emotionally and sometimes even physically for whomever comes along. Sad and pathetic.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

She can be called a crappy person and crappy mother but she has done nothing criminal. We don’t have to like the way other people live. It doesn’t make it our business. America worked so hard to destroy the stable marriage, home, and family. This is what you get!

chyna's avatar

I personally think she has and will suffer over this the rest of her life and doesn’t need to be punished further. Not that there is a law as @MollyMcGuire points out. Lots of comments on the articles about this called for her to be punished.
However, I see this type of thing happening over and over where a boyfriend usually ends up hurting or killing small children. I just wish that women would stop thinking about themselves and how bad they need a man in their life, any man, and just take good care of their children first. Unfortunately it won’t happen. And I don’t mean all women do this, but too many do.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’ll bet he was really charming. The worst psychopaths are also the most charming. ...but reading his Facebook cover photo would have raised HUGE flags for me. But maybe he cheerfully explained it away.

chyna's avatar

@Dutchess_III I was horrified by his Facebook cover too. “I will never apologize for being a sex freak” should have clued her in.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah…unless he convincingly played it off as a joke….

Coloma's avatar

@chyna I agree, I don’t think she should be prosecuted and that wouldn’t happen anyway, but yes, your children come first, and. it is just sad that so many women are so desperate to hook up with a guy that they put their children in harms way.
It is a well known fact that often pedophiles will look for single mothers to gain access to their children. I would, seriously, run a background check on any guy I was dating if I had children.

jca's avatar

@Coloma: Unfortunately, the majority of sexual acts committed against children are never prosecuted and the names of the people committing them are never put onto any registry. There are various reasons – the children may be too young for their testimony to be considered valid is one example.

Doing child welfare work, on more occasion we’ve heard women say “I’m not going to lose my man because of my child.”

jca (36062points)“Great Answer” (4points)
Coloma's avatar

@jca Ugh. So sad. Remember Diane Downs and there was another women who drowned her kids in her car, forget her name but she claimed she was car jacked by a black man when, in reality, she pushed her car into a lake with her little kids strapped inside then made public pleas for their safe return on television.
All in the name of “love”, being addicted to a romantic involvement.

MrGrimm888's avatar

If she brought home a stray dog that killed her child,who would be responsible? Or didn’t lock a medicine cabinet?

I understand wanting to have companionship, but mothers AND fathers should be more careful whom they allow into their families lives. They are depending on their parents to protect them.

Good parents are not as common as they should be.

Dutchess_III's avatar

When I was dating Jerry, at one point he said to me, “If I told you you had to choose between me or your kids….....you’d choose your kids, wouldn’t you.”
I just stared at him in disbelief. He said, “That’s what I thought.”

MrGrimm888's avatar

^This seems like another example of women being with shitty men. JUST LEAVE THEM.

They don’t deserve you, or your family. Let them die alone.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Well, we weren’t serious, anyway. It’s not like I built my life around him. I only saw him on the weekends. He was just someone to hang out with, someone I could Adult with. He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was safe and fun.

MrGrimm888's avatar

^That’s understandable.

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