1. Getting out of the public swimming pool and discovering the S has fallen off the SPEEDO part of my trunks.
2. Discovering that the funny old man down the road did not actually own a helicopter when he asked if I wanted to see his chopper.
3. My neighbours…no seriously…they have the personality of tinned tuna, are as welcoming to people from other countries as Trump is with Mexicans and even though they are both female they probably still have a bigger penis than him.