We put a lot of emphasis in the US on self-reliance, strength, willpower and the like but to bring this to the forefront of someone who is hurting does nothing but belittle the struggle they are presently going through. The reached out to you because they recognized at some level that they could not do it on their own and needed assistance. Platitudes like “Buck up” and “Be strong” do not help them only hurt them more. As others have said, be there, listen, have a shoulder to support them.
Many times we are tempted to try and “fix” the problem but some problems just cannot be fixed. You cannot bring back someone who is gone. And sometimes we try to fix the sufferer but this only makes things worse, they are at a fragile point in their lives and telling them that this too shall pass just emphasizes their helplessness. They need comfort in the here and now not at some point in the future. A lot of times people are just barely hanging on and pushing them to try harder or more; trying to make them recover quicker than they are capable of, and only they know their capabilities, will cause even greater stress and anguish.
Don’t try to “fix” things. Stay with them, support them, allow them to process all those emotions and feelings in their own time and in their own way. Be there to help but do not try to resolve things for them, they must do this Suffer with them so they know they are not alone.
I remember reading once that those who make the greatest difference when we hurt are not those who try to lead us out of the darkness but the ones that are willing to follow us into that darkness and stand beside us no matter what.
I try to be that person.