Yeah. I just had my first health crisis in years. Prior to this, I had been getting down on myself because I had resumed taking things for granted after 3+ years of no problems. I went through so much health hell in the past and for a time afterwards had such a great attitude in which I appreciated every little thing about being healthy. So I was really discouraged when I got “used” to being healthy and began to sweat the small stuff again, instead of keeping the excellent perspective I had once had regarding what truly matters and what doesn’t. I had started thinking to myself that I had lost the only positive thing that had ever come out of being ill, so what was the point of all that suffering if the lessons wore off?

Well. Now I know they don’t wear off, they just go into hibernation. I still have all those coping skills buried in me, I just don’t need them most of the time. When I needed them, they reemerged. So that is comforting to know.

I also spent a bit of time in a very kumbaya state of mind that I hoped was me turning over a new leaf in regards to being less crabby, but alas I think it was just the painkillers I was on, because I’m back to normal with that now.

I have had a number of Maslowian Peak Experiences in my life. The most vital one happened on Feb. 19, 2015, when I found unconditional self-love. It altered everything about my life radically.

If you’re curious, I found it in meditation. I’ve been meditating daily for 30 years. I do not follow any particular school of meditation, so perhaps that’s why it took so long. I think it came at the right time, though.

Prior to gaining self-love, I lived with great amounts of fear. I was riddled with it.

I still experience fear, but it’s situational. I used to be pervasive and ever present. That is gone. It returned at the election, but I’ve come to terms with that through therapy, and now I am moving forward determined to do my part to make sure our planet survives and our democratic institutions do, too. The fear engendered by the election has faded.

^^ Good to know you’re able to overcome your fear through meditation.

A very large bug was in my bathtub the other night. I screamed and then caught it with a cup, put toilet paper under the cup and flushed it down the toilet. I thought – I have become a self-sufficient person in recent years!

@janbb…I am never using your bathtub, LOL!

I have been discovering myself (anew) for the past almost two years since I got really sick, finding out at the same time that I have several different ongoing health conditions.

My priorities have changed (and I’m not just talking about the obvious things like my health, watching my diet, etc.) I have started seeing my relationships through new eyes. Going through rough times is really an eye-opener to who really cares about you. I find I am less tolerant of life’s typical nonsense, and I have learned how to say no more, even if people don’t understand the problems my health now causes me.