I think the more apt question, given the prevalence of lying in our society, is perhaps a more concise listing, if it can be made, of When is it not okay to lie?
We lie all the time, even with the best will in the world:
– I will love you forever.
– I will pay off this loan according to the terms I’m agreeing to.
– No sir, I wasn’t speeding.
– Santa Claus is going to give presents to the good girls and boys.
– I know that God is good.
And so on.
I’m not saying that the fact that we say things that “become” untrue makes us liars. I’m not even contending that saying things that we know to be impossible, improbable or unlikely even makes us bad people. And “absolute truth” and honesty doesn’t depend on the good intentions that you had when you made the promise to your spouse, to your banker, to the cop, the kids or the congregation. When you make a promise that – for whatever reason, whether it’s illness, death, a crashed economy or an alienated spouse – “becomes” impossible to keep, then the promise was, technically speaking, a lie.
We all lie. We do it in greater or lesser degree and consistency. Some people lie deliberately and often, and they are generally disapproved of (unless they win the popular vote). Some people lie to get the big job, in which case they are proven to be frauds (but maybe we can hold off that current judgement until after the inauguration, in the case of the current campaign promises lies). Some people lie for personal gain, and again, they do it deliberately, knowing what they say is untrue or impossible: Your teeth will be whiter after just one tube! And some people really, truly and honestly believe in the truth of the falsehoods they utter.
And we accept all of it.
So when is that not okay?