@puddintane, yes I did say relationships could be intense online but I’ve never found Facebook induces that sort of connection. I feel it’s more about connections made elsewhere that are then continued through Facebook. I have made some wonderful friends through Fluther than I now continue to talk to in a more relaxed way through Facebook. I consider them to be real friends, but the friendship was formed here, not there.
Actually, your post reminds me of a situation I’ve just experienced through Facebook. One person (person A) is very upset about everything that is happening politically in the US, but they find the constant flow of stories about Trump and resistance to Trump stressful. I don’t think that’s unusual at the moment. Many people are suffering from stress about that situation, but people are dealing with it in very different ways. Person A complained fairly stridently about their friends (who also happen to be some of my friends) posting political content and comments. I saw Person B and C write they understood and it was okay for Person A to unfriend them if their posts were too stressful.
Now I like all of these people, including Person A, very much. I care about them and consider them all to be very good people. However, person A went on to participate in a conversation with another person (person D) that I saw as attacking Person B and C. For me that attack (or what I viewed as an attack was a line too far). I’m fine with people not liking the political discourse that’s taking place through FB, but they can unfollow that content or those people. Attacking others for the way they use FB was too much for me so I unfriended person A.
While I care for Person A, attacking those other people in collaboration with someone else, went far beyond what I was prepared to turn a blind eye to. I was very sad to take that action, but I don’t want to support that kind of behaviour. As your question is about husbands, this story also resonates because I know Person A’s husband is on Facebook. I don’t think we are friends, but if we had been, I wouldn’t have thought about unfriending him. It wouldn’t have crossed my mind. My problem was with what his wife posted. It had nothing to do with him. If I was his friend on FB and did feel I should contact him, it would have been to say how sorry I was that I felt I had to unfriend his wife and to stress that while I cared about his wife but felt I needed to step away from that friendship for now. In the situation I described, I could absolutely imagine Person B or C feeling they needed to unfriend Person A if they felt attacked, but I could also see them reaching out to her husband to say how sorry they were to take that action and why they did it. I am pretty certain neither of them would have done it as a ‘jerk’ move, but rather as a compassionate and sad place. They are both kind and compassionate people who would try very hard not to hurt another person. I have no idea if either Person B or C did unfriend Person A and I haven’t checked.
Long post I know and I’m sorry for that @puddintane, but I think the situation I’ve experienced recently does have parallels to your situation and I hope you don’t mind me sharing this story. I hope you can resolve things with your friends. Just as I hope when things calm down the friendships I’ve discussed here can get back on an even keel.