Why waste time dealing with people that don’t want you there?

If I don’t feel welcome someplace or in some group then I leave and go someplace that has people that appreciates me and want to be near me.

It would depend on the circumstances. If it was a work situation, I’d try to grin and bear it and hope not to have to go through the same thing again. If it was a family or friend situation, I’d stay for as long as I needed to and leave and again, try not to agree to be put in such a situation again.

What exactly are you looking for? A handi?

If I walk into a room or party the onus is on me. If I want to make friends it is my job to go up and make friends.

This could be totally cultural.

I’m looking for general politeness from the host. This question is not about the guests make their entrance.

*how the guests make their entrance

I make myself busy or scarce.

The most obvious time this happened was over the course of about 4 days. My son’s grandfather died a few years ago and I took my son to the funeral, about a 9 hour train ride away, but we had to stay at the house with my ex, my ex’s new girlfriend and my ex-mother in law. I brought a tent for me and little man to sleep in, so we didn’t take up room in the tiny apartment. It worked out really well. I was not welcome, as it turned out, (go figure) so I spent a great deal of time in the tent with a couple of beers and a book. My kid got to hang out with his cousins from Amsterdam and was really awesome source of love and support for his dad and his grandma, and I just hung out on the edge of it all.

At other events, I just find busy things to do. I’ll tidy things, or find jobs to do in the kitchen or hang out with the kids, if there are any. I’m very awkward in social situations anyway.

Well, if looking for “general politeness from the host” and not getting it is the issue, then I guess I would, after politely greeting the host (I see no reason to be anything other than polite), avoid the host. Like @Earthbound_Misfit says, if it’s a mandatory work situation, I would grin and bear it.
If I feel awkward and unwelcome I leave as soon as possible.

I just stay quiet and stay out of the way until it is time to go.

Why was “group think” in the tags?

I guess what I don’t do is keep on quitting and then trying to come back again and expect it to be different. I guess I look at myself and see whether there is something that I am doing that is alienating the group and if I want to change it or if it is the particular group. And if it happened with multiple groups, then I would have to look pretty hard at myself and how I was presenting myself.

I’ve had a similar experience with a group of friends who live close to each other in a nearby city. I never feel that I am included in their casual get togethers and it bothers me. Then a friend in the group said that she doesn’t feel like any of the others plan or invite her to things either. It made me feel that it was less about me and more about the group so while I am still not happy, i don’t feel like a victim. I will just invest less in getting together with that group – when it happens it happens.

@canidmajor I’m not sure about the group think tag. I had two questions in mind and probably was thinking of the other when I wrote it. Sorry for the confusion.

I liked it!

i usually just stay quiet and feel upset no one likes feeling left out but at the same time im used to things like that.. i have my few friends and its all enough for me anyway :)