God yes. I am such a work-in-progress.
I will probably never feel totally at peace with my body, but at least it is broken less severely and less frequently than it used to be. It’s been 10 years now since diagnosis, 6 years since colectomy, and I’m still an anxious mess and have a bad habit of using my poor health as an excuse for all my shortcomings. I feel like I was finally starting to make progress on this front when I had 3 consecutive good-health years, and I was starting to feel like I had no choice but to move on, and then wham, another emergency, another surgery, and now I’m right back where I was. Fixated and anxious. This may just be a part of me that I live with. I feel like I’m learning how to do that, at least.