Feminism is about equality.

Feminism is definitely about equality. Some of what you are hearing is not about equality, but revenge, and as you pointed out, are more than somewhat hypocritical and sexist. Every “movement” has a full spectrum of causes, usually ranging from almost conservative, “let’s take what they’ll give us” to the extremely radical “let’s get them for what they have done to us”. I’ve seen this spectrum of feelings at civil rights rallies, peace rallies, and yes, even feminist rallies.

It is most important that when you do something to promote the cause, you do what you think and feel is most productive and important, and what is practical.

Yes, equality and choice.
The militant femi-nazis are a whole ‘nother scene, an embarrassing one at that.
Like many factions of certain groups they really degrade the base ideology.

As @Mariah said, feminism is about equality. From my experience, the kinds of things you mention in your Details are not things I hear feminists say, but they are definitely things I hear people say that feminists say. Your mileage may vary, of course.

I was raised by my sister in feminist central.

I never heard stuff like the OP says. I guess when she worked at ***** she did make a big stink about improving the child-care they offered. But as far as I know the guys there could use the program too if they wanted.

But here is a pretty fucked up story. So my sister was a administrative assistant for a guy there. He did the sexual harassment shit but my sister was paid pretty good and she had a two year old to fed so she put up with it. Shit like there would be work dinners and he would grab her tits and ask if she wanted a raise after a few drinks. She knew HR didn’t give a fuck so she put up with it.

So one of top three best friends in high school was at my house and we were all sitting around and we pieced it together. Bill’s uncle was my sisters boss. Bill told his uncles wife. My sister got fired for being late one day the next week. HR didn’t give a shit.

I appreciate the replies.
I just want to make sure my causes are just. I don’t like to defend anything if I can’t stand behind it one hundred percent.
There’s a saying I read by Margaret Thatcher that goes “If you want something spoken about, ask a man. If you want something done ask a woman.”
I’ve heard strong feminists repeat this publicly. I just think these type of sayings don’t bring men over to our side.
Men that proudly identify as feminists are great and can be a positive in the feminist movement.
I think everyone should be treated equal and with respect if that’s what we want to achieve.

Supremacy, as it seems.

@Becca543 Feminism is the branch of egalitarianism that deals with sexism. It is about equality. But people are imperfect and sometimes say the wrong thing. Moreover, our knowledge is constantly growing, which means older versions of an idea may seem obviously flawed from our more advantageous position.

A lot of early abolitionists were still racists, but that doesn’t mean they were wrong to oppose slavery. Standing behind a cause is not the same thing as standing behind every single thing ever said or done by anyone who ever claimed to support that cause. Indeed, sometimes the most important thing one can do is be a better messenger than those who already exist.

@Sneki95 [Citation needed]

IMO, true feminists are struggling for equality. Those who want supremacy are usually angry, insecure people with unrelated issues who are due for a few rude awakenings during their lifetimes that will either make them angrier, or wake them up to what makes a better world.

Well, this would be one reason why (anti-feminist snide remarks to the contrary) taking a course or reading a book or just talking to well-spoken knowledgeable people about feminist theory can be useful.

Feminism has gone farther than the equal rights movement, but not with the goal of having women be superior to men and become dominating.

However, often people who are sensitive to such issues may have a lot of anger, irony and/or sarcasm, and may be so used to their own thinking and language that they may tend to come across as they have seemed to you.

Specifically, I would guess that if you talked to a thoughtful feminist who said anything like what you heard, you would tend to hear them correct the impression they gave you, perhaps something like as follows:

“when I hear some feminists say that women can do anything a man can do and better”
-> May have intended to say that specific women could do practically anything better than specific men. Really the point being that sex alone should never be used to rule out that a man is going to be better at something than a woman. It may also have been collapsed with the observation that women often have perspectives and abilities that men often do not tend to have so much, so often women may be better than men at many tasks that are not traditionally considered so. It could also be collapsed with an affirmation of gender-fluidity.

“or that women should stick together against men and never talk bad about each other”
-> They might have meant, in certain contexts. For example, by “talk bad” they might mean in ways that involve common anti-feminine patterns such as slut-shaming or double-standards or others ready tools that can be used to put down one woman but that also put down all women.

“or that we should start companies and pay men less than women.”
-> Perhaps it was suggested as a pointed demonstration or “affirmative action” style idea. Not sure what they could’ve meant, but it wouldn’t tend to involve just reversing the target of discrimination except as a way to mirror how unbalanced existing behavior is.

Officially, equality. In reality, supremacy.
My grandfather always told me, for example, that the black man did not actually want equality, he wanted to be better than because he had been down so long that he wanted the upper hand now. I assume and have always assumed that it was true and the same could be said for women.
(Rip me a new one all you want but I will not change my mind. It isn’t that I choose to believe it, but from what I have witnessed in my life, I believe it is true.)

I think there could be an interesting parallel to affirmative action. Like we have to be sooo careful to give equal rights to a minority group (ethnic background, gender) that it could be seen as preferential treatment or not equal rights at all. It is through raising our voices that we create change. I think if we focus on equality we will ultimately achieve these ideals for all, even if it takes a little time to totally balance out. Progress is the goal.

Feminism right now is a mess and is causing more damage than it alleviates simply because feminists on the whole have done a terrible job at keeping it policed from within. The word feminism is currently adrift in a sea of whatever the hell anyone with any gripe wants it to be. It is not a structured or organized movement in any way, not anymore. If feminist ladies and guys continue to allow all of the unsavory elements to shit all over the very movement that has done so much good the last century then you’re better off simply not calling yourself one and being a generic activist. If someone tells me they are a feminist I literally have no fucking clue what they are thinking that it exactly means in their head. I don’t know if I should hug them or cuss them out. That’s a problem.

And, yet again, we have a page full of the differences between the things feminists say and the things people say about feminists.