I’d think twice about it too. I’m sure he will keep everything private, as medical professionals are expected to, but it still might get uncomfortable. It would depend on what specifically I was going to be addressing I think.

I’m interested to know if you like having a male therapist once you start with one. I only used a male therapist once, and I realized I much prefer female. He was fine, but it just was a little off for me. I only gave it one chance though.

Yeah, I read the info on his website and thought ‘this man’s in the right space’ and then read that he is a doctoral candidate at my university and went… ugh! I’m not concerned about him breaching my privacy. It’s more about having a session with him and then sitting the coffee shop and him being there. It would feel very odd I think!

I have some issues with my son and my brother (separately) so I really wanted to talk to a man about how to manage the situations. I think men think differently to women when it comes to emotions, so I’d really like to get a male perspective.

On the flipside, if I want to talk about work stress or anxiety, then I’d feel odd if I talk about how I’m feeling and then see him at the coffee shop while I’m with my colleagues! I just wanted to canvass my Fluther people’s thoughts on the situation. I read his blurb to my husband, then added the bit about his connection to my institution and he went ‘well that blows that out of the water!” That was his immediate reaction.

I think try someone else. If he doesn’t work out, you can always try this guy at work.

Yeah, I think you’re right. It just feels instantly odd. Pity! He sounds really good otherwise. Of course, who knows until I meet with the person! Thanks @JLeslie.

So true. People can sound great on paper, and it just doesn’t necessarily mean they are a good fit for you.

I hope your “situations” improve. How old is your son?

24.

Oh, I thought maybe he was still a minor. I wasn’t sure though. I didn’t remember you talking about young children in present tense.

I wouldn’t do it. I would want to keep my therapist, and everything we talk about, and probably the fact that I was seeing a therapist, private. I just wouldn’t want those two worlds anywhere near each other. I wouldn’t feel comfortable being 100% candid.

I’m thinking it might be too familiar to see him in the coffee shop or whatever. I’d prefer a bit of separation. I’d look for another option, rather than this one.

Thank you everyone. I’ve gone with someone else. I have an appointment anyway. I appreciate you all confirming my instincts are right.

I guess that with your considerations – which seem perfectly valid to me, because even if you can trust in the physician-patient confidentiality that he would maintain, and even if he’s the best person in the world at doing that, no one is perfect, and it’s not only possible but likely that whatever you’re revealing would be disclosed in some way to some person or group of persons that is already close to you. So there’s that, and then there’s the nuts-and-bolts aspect of “visiting a therapist in your own institution”, which would be noticed and probably remarked upon, even if no one has the slightest idea what that’s about. That might be even worse, in fact, than having your actual confidentiality breached.

So if I were you and I had these concerns, then I might suggest visiting the therapist – with these concerns expressed – and ask him for his own recommendation for someone farther removed.