Short and sweet, she told me she had been seeing some gonzo after work without her hubby knowing, and that he had been getting her drunk on wine (She has a drinking problem but had been sober several years). I told her to break it off asap, and tossed the ball back in her court. I asked her if she thought it was fair to her hubby what she was doing, and did she think her 30 years of marriage was worth tossing over a fling? Guess it worked, next time I saw her she was all bubbly and happy. And didn’t assault me and tell me my advice aint worth squat, cuz she loved her boyfriend and hated her hubby. LOL I did the best I could, practicing therapy without a license. Or a clue.

Maybe she had an (accurate, it turns out) intuition that it would work to ask your opinion.

Sometimes random opinions or even (better, often) just listening is extremely useful for clarifying one’s own thoughts. The swirls our minds and hearts do when we’re only listening to ourself are the entrenched patterns we already have and that keep us stuck doing what we’re doing. Just having to put it into words to say out loud to someone else can make a world of difference.

Also, maybe she (and likely others) see some qualities in you that you’re not entirely aware of.

(Oh! But whoops! I’m not a woman – sorry about that.)

Hmmm… possible, but she knows me well enough that she must have suspected, she was taking a chance on being dismissed with one of my patent smart ass remarks. Like, What is this, a confessional? I ain’t even Catholic! Or, What do I look like, freakin’ Sigmund Freud?

@Zaku No worries, you guys can chime in on this too.

Perhaps she felt you would give her honest, impartial advice. You can give her a man’s opinion, you’re presumably not attracted to her and you can be impartial because you’re not connected to her or the situation. Perhaps she sees you as a straight talker who won’t bullshit her. Sounds like that’s what you did for her.

For the same reason we all come to places like this and ask strangers random question.

Stranger’s advice and help might get very useful.

Besides, you said you were friends, so…

I still don’t know what an “emotional affair” is???

@NomoreY_A An emotional affair is a non-sexual affair, connecting on an emotional level but not sexually involved, though that often ends up happening, you know, the slippery slope. LOl

@Coloma – Thanks. That’s what I suspected, that he was getting he drunk to get in her panties. Seems like she could have figured that one out on her own. I mean, duh! Was it really necessary to interrupt my coffee break for that one?

Never did send her my bill. We used to hang out together on break, and I’d let her hang out and have lunch in my office if she was stressed, but I have to make a living, and I cant give my unprofessional advice for free…a box of Dutch Master cigars and a 12 pack of tall boys sound fair?

It seems to me she considers you intelligent, level headed, honest, and so a good person to trust for advice.

She better go back to the drawing board on that ‘un. But thanks for the assessment Patty Melt : )

You are a male. She knows you well enough, but she wasn’t involved with you. She needed advice from a male. You were convenient, and available, and she probably guessed you weren’t a jerk.

Also, if you didn’t personally know any of the people she was talking about, she had no fear of you gossiping and the word getting out among her friends.

@jca Never would have done that anyway, her business is her business. That said, ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies.

@NomoreY_A: Yes, but some people might. I could see her being nervous to tell people she knows, because a sympathetic ear can also be a flapping jaw.

Well, all I can say is that I sometimes wonder that there’s some dude out there that I don’t even know, who might owe having his wife still with him, to old Doctor Dufus here. And I wonder if she’d have hooked up with that weirdo if she hadn’t asked me what I thought.