A lifetime ago, I briefly had a boyfriend who was fond of calling me “Dummy.” This happened a number of times until I put a stop to it. If I got caught in the rain, I heard, “Why didn’t use an umbrella, Dummy?” If we were cooking something together, he might say something such as, “Dummy, you should shred the mozzarella before you add it.”
He did this under the guise of good-natured teasing. I didn’t buy-in for even a moment. I have a deep-rooted dislike of needling and ridiculing in the form of affection. At least in my own experience, the person has another, and very unpleasant, agenda. Certainly, a little gentle teasing can be a part of any healthy relationship, but there’s a chasm between a joke and an insult; needling is a bullying tactic and a malicious form of social cruelty.
After this had happened for a while, I looked him squarely in the eyes, used a firm tone of voice, and told him NOT to call me “Dummy,” ever again. He didn’t.
It turned out that my instincts were right, though. He was someone much different from a nice guy, and he and I are an ancient memory.