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deerpark7's avatar

How do i move on already? is it bad to get even?

Asked by deerpark7 (13points) August 11th, 2008
12 responses
“Great Question” (0points)

wow, do I feel like an idiot!!!! I wrote on here about 4 months ago and so much has changed….it sucks because looking back and reading what I wrote, I new in my gut what I had to do. mid way through May, my girlfriend was the one to break up with me. I wasn’t shocked, and its not like it came out of know where. I mean things truly just weren’t working, but I wanted things to change and I wanted to at least try and make them work. In my eyes I was the one who suffered more. I only fought with the girl because I never saw her, its like she was my girl for almost 8 months and yet her parents didn’t even no we dated. I never had a real relationship with the girl, and I always envied other kids relationships. I always laughed at kids when they would beg for a girl back or trip so hard over ONE girl. I didn’t beg for her back, but I wont lie, I was pretty desperate. I just couldn’t believe after all year long, I wouldn’t get a chance come summer time. I truly thought I was going to win her back. Now its basically the end of summer and I just feel like a fool. I made a fool of myself, I just didn’t want to accept that this girl truly could give a fuck. I didn’t think she would turn her back on me the way she did. I was nothing but sweet to her and for the past three months all I wanted to do was to try and see her. She wouldn’t, she wouldn’t give me the chance that I disserved. it’s a JOKE though because im only 17 years old, I no Im not going to marry the girl and I know I wasn’t in love with the girl. So why am I beating myself up so hard? And I don’t get why I would even want this girl back when I wasn’t even happy in the first place? I feel like a fucking idiot, I cant believe how stupid I made myself look. And I still seem pathetic to her because even now I still go out of my way and text her and just make myself look even stupider, if that’s even possible. I feel like iv grown up so much this year, but yet how im handling this, it makes me feel like a little boy. I said to her recently, “I don’t get you, you act like I did something so terrible, you act like I cheated on you, iv been nothing but nice to you, I just wanted to see you more, not NOT see you at all, you wont even come see my face…..” but first off this girl would tell me, “we have all summer to see each other…” and she told me several times “ohh well hang out soon, when I come home next week…” and then she would just blow it off, and made me feel like a fucking fool. So heres the bad part. I hooked up with her BEST friend, ahahah yeah that’s really bad and immature and I know it myself. But its like what the fuck, I was so good to her and I was so sweeet to her. She played my ass and made me feel like a fool. So yeah I kissed her best friend and she doesn’t know yet. I want to put it in her face so bad you have no idea! And say “you no what, you told me you would come hang out so many times, you were my girl for 8 months and all year long, and when summer came you couldn’t give me five minutes, its like you erased me from your life for no reason, you made me feel like a fool. So yeah I kissed your best friend, and you no what, now you have a fucking reason to be mad at me, now you have a reason to never talk to me.” its like I only did it out of spite, which is so wrong, and I feel bad because now I fucked over their friendship, but hey, any girl who would do that to her best friend isn’t a good friend at all. Should I say something to her? Its like why shouldn’t I though. I know its so immature but its like I was SO FUCKING GOOD to this girl, and its like she continually slapped me in my face for no reason. I just want to tell her so I can feel like now she has a legit reason for doing what she has been doing all along. Its like fuck man, karma is a bitch. And this is hers. Maybe im just blind and im completely wrong here. Maybe I should be the bigger person and keep my mouth shut. What do you guys think? I’m sick of feeling like a fool and im sick of still thinking about this girl, specially when I no there are a BILLION girls out there. What do you guys think???? Should I say something??? I really want too…but il take any advice I can get at this point………

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Edgarex86's avatar

Dude, you are so young, don’t let this girl of 8 months ruin your dating life. Move on, i mean the relationship wasnt even official right? I suggest you move on and find another date soon. Get over her quick, like a band aid, the quicker you get it off the less it hurts.

Indy318's avatar

Hold on, I’m still trying to finish reading the question. :P

McBean's avatar

Broken hearts suck. And it doesn’t matter how ready either of you were to move on. Once it happens, if it wasn’t your choice, it turns your heart (and mind) into a black hole of hurt and confusion and it’s hard to get your bearings and move past it all. The best thing you can do to get back at her is to move on, though. Move on and do well. Stay healthy, stay busy, make new friends, excell in school and life. Be selfish right now and put your energy into taking care of yourself. Work out. Honestly.

And whenever you get the urge to call or text her, give yourself an assignment to do. Do 25 pushups. Take the garbage out. Wash your car. She will not come back to you right now. You need to show some self-respect. Respect yourself. It will pass. Stay busy and you’ll be surprised at how much better you feel by next week, even.

Broken hearts never do get easier. Good luck!

PupnTaco's avatar

Check me in four months, I’ll have finished reading it by then.

Chawk80's avatar

WOW! O.k look man. You have a long way to go in life. There is no reason to let a girl get your shorts in a twist like this. So great you were nice to her. So you kissed her best friend . She obviously is not into you and you need to move on. Just straight up ignore her. Who knows maybe you were coming on to hard for her and you not talking or texting her may warm her back up for you. Many more fish in the sea that will appreciate being treated sssooooo good as you put it. Chin up dude take it as a life lesson and move on brother!

gailcalled's avatar

@deerpark; I need to see the Ophthomologist and get a new prescription. I’ll get back to you.

Dog's avatar

Get even? For what? Because it did not work the way you wanted it to?

Dude- you are going to have a lot of relationships that don’t work out till you find your soul mate. Sometimes you will be dumped- other times you will break a girls heart and break it off.

This is life- use this experience to grow and learn what kind of girl you don’t want.
Your soul mate is out there- but no girl is attracted to a bitter guy so shake off this experience and move forward with a good attitude.

Dog (25152points)“Great Answer” (1points)
cheebdragon's avatar

Are you a girl?

GG's avatar

Well I’m not going to tell you to get over it because I know how it feels. I was really hung on this woman once. I was addicted to her like a bad drug. And when I finally realized it was never going to lead anywhere, I was devastated. My 75 year-old step mom told me to move on with my life. Crying, I asked her how. She told me something very simple and useful. “Focus on the future, not on the past.” Think about it. You are young. You are passionate. You are caring. You will have other girls in your life. For sure you will. Turn your mind around, and think about the infinite possibilities that await you out there in life. When you feel yourself slipping back into mooning about her, turn your mind around again. Good luck, dude.

jlm11f's avatar

ok. here’s my advice:
1. Delete ex’s # from your cell. Delete her from facebook, any other social networking network, here email, ANY contact of hers at all ever, basically delete her from your life. This way, you can avoid being tempted to contact her.
2. Don’t tell her about the kiss w/ bff. Look, you and her are over. Whatever happened, happened. There’s no point creating more drama. This sounds like your first relationship, people break up all the time. You can either handle it with a “ugh that sucks but i must move on” or a “revengeeeeeeeee is a bitch” attitude. The former is the ideal, the latter reflects immaturity.
3. “Karma is a bitch”....karma is not meant to be carried out by humans. not purposefully anyway. you misunderstand it. if you would like a lesson on karma and other hindu principles, i’ll be happy to help you later on.
4. I am really sorry that you are hurt and feel like your time has been wasted etc. It’s important to realize that however much you hate it right now, this relationship was an experience that will help you with the others. You should try to learn from it and choose someone you are more likely to get along with next time.
5. Try not to think about this by keeping yourself busy or taking up a new hobby like suggested previously.
6. Good luck.!

bodyhead's avatar

If you want to do well in any relationship, pretend that you like her slightly less then she likes you. You sound like you might be a little overbearing in this relationship. Don’t call them all the time. Don’t talk constantly about when you’re going to hang out again. Let her call you sometimes.

Anyways, I agree with most of these answers. Take some of your own advice and don’t get too messed up over one girl who doesn’t really seem to like you all that much anyway. You are probably not in love with her but obsession can be just as bad.

Judi's avatar

What if her best friend really likes you? Don’t you think you’re doing the same thing to her best friend that she did to you? Chances are she won’t even care. She has about as much respect for you as you seem to have for her best friend. It would giver her power over her friend to know that her friend took her cast off.
Love stinks sometimes, and takes time to get over. After 30 years I still google the one who broke my hear occasionally, but I have also learned that my life is so much richer with him out of it. He never lived up to the potential I had dreamed for him and my current husband is way more than I ever dreamed I deserved. Because of that painful experience I have more empathy for a broken heart than I may have before and I think that in the long run I am a better person and a better judge of character.
Wallow in your pain for a while, then one day a beautiful girl will walk by and be a total distraction and life has the possibility of being better than you even imagine. There is no cure for your current pain but time. It’s sort of like caterpillar in a chrysalis time. Recovering from this kind of pain is the process of becoming the best you possible.

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