So first and foremost; I am absolutely in love with my wife. Nothing you’re about to read has even slightly changed that.

My wife and I were married a week or so ago. Went beautifully, she was beautiful, etc, etc (I could gush for a while so I’ll skip to the point).

When we got back to the hotel on our wedding night, my wife has a surprise for me; she hands me a box with a bow which opens to reveal a rather large set of boudoir photos of herself. This is a big deal because since the early days of our relationship I have asked for naked pictures of her; via text, e-mail, let me take them, etc. She was never comfortable with it, which while disappointed I was obviously okay with (I mean we ended up married anyways). I gave her some crap about it again when we later got engaged, but for the most part just let it go.

So before I go on let me just acknowledge; that she did this for me is something I appreciate IMMENSELY. Even after her getting over the mental barrier of not wanting there to be nude photos of her; the sheer time and effort and money that went into this were incredible. It undoubtedly took long hours on several days to both shoot, pick up, etc the pictures, work with the photographer to get them how she wanted them, etc…. and from friends having told us in the past how much they spent for a handful of photos; this massive set must have cost a ton. Point being, I recognize the work and love that went into this gift, and as far as that goes I love her even more for it.

There are two problems with this all for me. First; when I asked her for photos I wanted your run of the mill naked selfies. I wanted to see boobs, vagina, her doing sexual stuff, her doing stuff with me, etc. In short, I wanted PORN of her that I could later use to masturbate. These photos, they are beautiful. They are masterfully done and amazing. But they are ART. She is definitely nude in them, but it is not pornography. For gods sake they’re printed on canvas. I have never looked up classical nude photos on the internet to masturbate too or gotten aroused in that section of the museum; and while I find these photos beautiful, I cannot even begin to picture myself taking them to a private room to masturbate with. And it’s not like we can hang them around the house. I know I’m not comfortable with my friends and family seeing them, and I HIGHLY doubt she is either.

The biggest problem though; my wife and I have talked about having multiple partners. We’ve talked about trying to have 3-ways (mmf or mff), or find an orgy, or whatever. The idea of my wife having sex with another man while making out with me, or vice versa, sexually excites me to a great extent. But the whole context of that fantasy (which has never gone beyond talking about stages), is that she and I would be doing it TOGETHER. I would be there with her the whole time, help her choose the other man, etc. It would be an experience for both of us. She did this ALONE. The end product was obviously for me; but she found this photographer alone, went alone, had a strange man take naked photos of her for hours, which he then had to look at for a lot more hours to choose the best ones and edit them to look how they do now, etc. And now this stranger likely has hundreds of naked photos of my wife stored somewhere. (let me acknowledge here that I have no reason to believe the man isn’t an utter professional and that the photoshoot was done professionally and he isn’t posting these photos online or masturbating to them or something…. but it still makes me uncomfortable).

When my wife gave these too me, I was able to keep myself together (maybe my sheer exhaustion from the wedding day helped); but I went from super happy aroused and ready to consummate my marriage to flaccid penis-turned off in about 4 seconds flat. Just THINKING about these pictures makes me uncomfortable. I wanted naked pictures but if ANY man was going to be taking them I wanted it to be ME. It really just put a shitty end note on an otherwise amazing wedding day for me.

So my real question to those of you who have made it through this novel; is what would you do in this scenario? I feel as though I can’t tell her how I feel about it. She put a ton of work into it and did something she was very uncomfortable with FOR ME. I don’t think I can just crap all over that and tell her I hate it. Do I just put these in a closet and pretend they don’t exist? What do you think fluther?

Topics: art, sex, marriage, pornography, NSFW