Sometimes. I don’t think anyone is completely matched up for that long of a period. I think you have to find a way to communicate that works for you both.
For us, health, pregnancy, breastfeeding, work, kids, stress, exercise and everything else in the world has caused problems with libido at some point. Sometimes that causes strife, sometimes it doesn’t. I think in our case it helps we’ve both been on the other side. It’s hardest when you can’t identify a cause, or the cause affects you both, but differently, or the cause just isn’t going anywhere for a while and that’s longer than one side wants to wait.
I think you just have to be really honest, and introspective to a certain extent. Start with yourself and figure out what’s going on, then explain that. Recognize what you’re really asking for and what they’re asking for. Recognize who the other person is. Are you asking for something that’s against their nature? Don’t treat the answers like they’re obvious. Hopefully your partner can do the same.
I think it becomes a problem when people start feeling a lack of respect either way. Whether that’s the partner who wants more sex, or the partner who doesn’t, we’ve been taught that no one is wrong so it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you’re justified and right.
There is no right. There’s really only your agreement that matters. If there isn’t agreement, then you’re causing damage to the thing you’re trying to fix. It’s like driving on a flat tire, or ignoring your oil light. You get where you’re going, but the cost is too high.
You deal with it by communicating and compromising to some extent. Try to address the respect (or why it’s important to you) instead of the sex. It won’t be magic and suddenly just happen, but you can’t work on the sex until you figure out the rest.