My primary doctor is female, and pretty awesome. She listens to everything I have to say, asks a couple questions, then treats whatever the problem is in the simplest manner she can. Sometimes I wish she gave a little more feedback, but she’s always responsive to questions if I can find ways to communicate them.
I think that’s the biggest thing really, you have to learn to advocate for yourself and tell them what you need in terms of explanation, treatment, or whatever works for you. Then find a doctor who’s ok with that. Saying you don’t understand shouldn’t be a challenge to their expertise.
I’ve seen a ton of doctors in the last year, and I don’t think there’s a big difference just on gender, but there’s definitely a difference in focus. For some, there’s a schedule, and the patients happen to be on that schedule, but the schedule runs the day. They tend to be on time (or aware they’re late), efficient, and have a cohesive process with their staff. They run “a tight ship”. I’ve had to schedule another appointment to discuss secondary concerns for example, it wasn’t on the schedule and we didn’t have enough time allocated.
Others have patients and the schedule is secondary. They will spend as long as it takes, and commit to take the same time with all the other patients as well. It can take a lot longer to get in and out, and they can be late, but it’s not hurried.
Most people have a preference between the two approaches and I think should find a doctor that matches their focus when they can.