Thundersnow is so cool!!
Hm. I live in a state known for it’s crazy weather. The first thing that come to mind is once, about 8 years ago my husband was out of town, about 90 miles away. Weather was acting up, kicking up, but I didn’t think much of it. It felt tornadoey but that’s nothing new. I was just a little more aware of the outside because of it.
I went on the deck to smoke, looked to the west, and about jumped out of my skin. There was this giant, black, terrifying cloud heading straight for me. As far as I could tell, it came all the way to the ground and it was massive. If it was a tornado it didn’t look like one, maybe because it was so close. And it was headed right for me. I jumped for our cellar, which is no small thing because it’s haunted down there. Like, monsters and stuff are down there. Ask the kids.
However, I didn’t make it all the way down. I just sat on the top of the steps, ready to jump, with my cigarettes and beer at my side, and waited.
The cellar door is in the center of a short, narrow hallway in the middle of the house, so that hallway, by itself, afforded quite a bit of protection
I called Rick. I said, “I think we’re about to get hit by a tornado!”
He got really condescending and said, “No, there’s nothing happening there. I’m looking at the weather channel and it’s all clear.”
I kept insisting that it was NOT clear. “I’m telling you, I’m about to be hit!”
Well, he kept on in that tone, laughing reassuringly, you know, patting me on the head, like I was some stupid child. It pissed me off so BAD. He HAD to have heard the terror in my voice, the shaking. He knows I’m not some silly fu fu girl who gets all frantic over silly things. I’ve never been so angry with him in my life. I hung up on him.
Then it hit. Jesus. I really thought the house was going to come down. I was scared, but felt fairly protected where I was. I knew my body would just jump when it was time.
It was bad. Very bad. Then the lights went out. I still didn’t jump, just waited. The wind was beating like a giant’s fist on the house, shaking the whole house. But I didn’t jump because monsters.
It passed after about 2 minutes. Longest 2 minutes of my life.
I got up, went in the living room, shaking.
The lights came back on.
The phone rang. It was Rick. He said, “Jesus Val! The weather channel is saying multiple touchdowns in town!”
I screamed “NO FUCKING SHIT!!” And hung up on him.
And then the sirens went off.
And that, boys and girls, is why I do not bother with the Weather channel. They never warn us until the danger has passed.