I listen to love songs, like ‘Something’ or ‘My Love’ by Paul McCartney, or ‘She’s Got a Way’ or “Always a Woman” by Billy Joel.

I could write such prose or poetry when I was younger, but it has been a long time since love has moved me this way—even when I know I am loved fully and truthfully by another.

Sometimes love alone is enough to move me, but not the way it once did. Even unrequited. unreturned love.

It is easy to dismiss it as hormones, and maybe it is. But I don’t remember love as being all that sexual when I was younger, nor do the above mentioned songs (or hundreds of others) specifically imply sexual desire— Desire, yes—the one we love and want is desirable to be sure—the one we base our whole existence on—but not necessarily sexual so I don’t readily chalk it up to teenage hormones.

It just seems at one time, a lover’s presence, even seeing her name written down, could move me to tears. (then again, it was hard back then, when I wanted or desired so much… ) Now, although I still feel love, it seems my GF and I have plans but it seems life is just a struggle we get through together one day at a time, and nothing more.