The bird got it right. But in my experience it is invariably the bride to be and her sisters, mother, girlfriends—the women who stir these things up. No straight man I ever knew would want anything to do with planning or (though they know better than to admit it) participating in such a thing, and you can bet that this shindig is not your son’s idea, nor the bride’s dad, though either or both of them might well end up footing the bill to keep the peace. Aren’t engagement parties and bridal showers pretty much the same thing? I know it’s customary for the 2 families to formally get together in snooty circles. But I always thought these affairs to be hen parties we men are permitted to duck.