@canidmajor I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive necessarily?
My oldest sister and I would probably never be friends if we weren’t related. The way we approach things are often at odds with one another. And a lot of our interaction leaves me super stressed out.
That being said, I am incredibly lucky to have her as my sister. As much as we clash, I know she always has my back. And I’ve got hers.
My brother was a different situation. I’ll always remember my brother as the guy we knew growing up together. But towards the end of his life he was struggling with a meth addiction. I wouldn’t say the person I dealt with towards the end was my “real” brother. But either way, that person was not someone I would want in my life.
My other sister and I were much more similar. Interests, taste, music, humor, approach to things in general. Though after she developed schizophrenia in her mid 20’s, a lot of her personality shifted.
She became super religious with weird views like women need to be in the kitchen. Went from listening to goth and industrial to pop music. Threw out her entire record collection. Went from her signature trench coat and leather boots to Old Navy and QVC.
Despite those changes, I would still like to be friends with her. She still has a very unique, thoughtful and kind approach to people and life. But I’m not sure if I would know to approach her if I didn’t know her from before.
It’s kind of a bummer how we read people so superficially from a distance. :/