No. “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

I can’t answer this, @janbb, because I am so disheartened by those who pretend that they don’t know why young women (or women in general, actually) don’t risk their safety, their families’ safety, their livelihoods, their peace of mind, their reputations etc etc etc to report actual assaults.
White men and boys enjoy such a privilege relative to the well-being of others that it seems
that there is no progress.

Why the “good” men, no matter their affiliations, don’t rise up with such outrage, such anger, I don’t know.

@canidmajor And for that matter, why so many women are willing to make excuses for these men and doubt these women concerns me as much or more.

I never thought of reporting the few times I was assaulted; luckily I was able to force them off me. And the person who abused me I protected for years. In no way does that mean these things didn’t happen or weren’t significant.

The country, probably yes. Politicians – definitely NOT.

I’m very saddened by the things I’ve heard and read the past few days. It reinforces the reasoning behind why so many young women remain silent.

I think the #MeToo movement has opened the eyes of a lot of blind people. The fact that men are starting to get outraged says something to me.

But how much it will change remains to be seen.

Yes the country has progressed considerably. At the time when Kavanaugh was first appointed to the bench, there’s a good chance that airing the charges would not only jeopardize Ford’s career, the matter would probably be dismissed as a POSSIBLE boyhood prank.

@stanleybmanly But she’s received death threats and had to move her family. And the charges are being dismissed by the Republicans as a possible boyhood prank!

Some that causes a a person to feel terrified is not a “prank.”

@janbb Don’t be so sure. I know I’m usually the cynic here, but it really is a LOT tougher these days to pooh pooh harassment charges from women as matters of hormone imbalance.

As it should be @stanleybmanly.

As for the feath threats, and the hassle facing her, it all vindicates her decision to keep her mouth shut. In fact, I cannot fathom any excuse for submitting voluntarily to her ordeal, even to deny Kavanaugh the seat.

She hasn’t kept her mouth shut. She has just never pressed any charges. Most of us don’t.

I wonder how drunk she was???

I wonder how drunk he was???

It does bother me that people continue to not understand that women are assaulted all the time. I use assault very broadly here, I’m including verbally, mentally, sexually, and physically. It also bothers me the lack of understanding why women don’t report it. Sometimes they tell no one, sometimes they tell a friend or family member, but sometimes it’s years later. Sometimes they actually report it to the authorities, but often these things are kept to oneself.

The times I’ve been sexually assaulted, I didn’t report it to the police, that never even occurred to me. I did tell people here and there what happened, usually it was during a discussion something like this. Luckily, I’ve never been raped, and everything that happened to me I was able to get away reasonbly quickly.

Anita Hill was a little different than Kavanaugh. One a work situation, one drunk teenagers. The Anita Hill situation was really horrible. I believed her, and still do.

I believe Ford, but if this is the only time Kavanaugh did such a thing I can forgive to an extent, I am not sure I forgive to the extent that I’m ok with him serving on the Supreme Court. I asked a Q about it since I’m unsure, to hear other opinions. 17 is young, but not THAT young.

I think things are better now than 50+ years ago. I think women are respected more now, and I think men under 50 especially understand boundaries better.

All of that doesn’t change that women often don’t and won’t tell anyone that they were assaulted when it happens. It seems almost impossible to make someone understand who has never been through it. Even other women, if they somehow have been lucky enough to never have had anything happen to them, even a lot of those women, don’t understand why women wait to report or don’t report.

To me it makes perfect sense that women don’t report every time a man attempts something, or grabs them, or uses their power to make sexual advances. It’s too bad that’s the case, but it makes sense.

I remember in college hearing about a girl being really really drunk and supposedly a guy having sex with her while others watched, and we freaked out when we heard, but then on our way to the room we were told someone else stopped the whole thing. To me that’s rape. I don’t think she was able to consent. Nobody called the police as far as I know. Maybe she did “consent” in her drunken state. I admit to thinking, this is why girls shouldn’t get so drunk. Not that I think it was her fault, I still to this day think she was raped, but it’s more me saying keep your wits about you, because men can do some pretty awful things. One of those guys, either the guy raping her, or watching, might now be a dad with three kids, and be a judge right now, who the hell knows. They all were drinking together on my brother floor when it happened. A lot of people were drinking like so many nights in my dorm.

What does being drunk have to do with any thing? I once read that no one will do things when they’re drunk that they didn’t secretly want to do. I, for example, never allowed myself to get picked up at a bar, I don’t care how drunk I was. I never had sex with a guy just because I was drunk.

^^Because alcohol inhibits our inhibitors, and our inhibitors help keep us from doing reckless things.

Also, if you’re drunk or drugged enough you don’t have the strength to resist even if you want to. Some guys will have sex with a passes out girl. It’s horrible.

It does not make you do things you don’t want to do, though. It doesn’t turn a perfectly fine gentleman into a rapist. Or an ax murderer. Or a child molester.

It can make you unable to fight a man off. The point is you’re in an altered state. You can’t sign a real estate contract if it’s known you are inebriated. Not in Florida anyway.

Yes. That wasn’t my question, though. The question was about Kavanaugh, not Ford.

^^Ok, maybe I don’t understand the specific question. Can you elaborate. You’re talking about him being drunk, or her, or what?

@Dutchess_III

I got the impression that you were replying @kritiper‘s comment, rather than @JLeslie.‘s

Maybe I stepped in when I shouldn’t have?

No, it’s just a discussion. Anyone can chime in at any time. Leslie chose to pick up the conversation and tha’s just fine.

My point is him being drunk has NO bearing on anything. His behavior yesterday shows how out of control he is, even sober. I’m sure he turns into an even bigger asshole when he’s drunk, but that is no excuse for attacking a women. No excuse at all.