Why has this conversation created so many negative emotions and insecurity in me?
Hi there, so not so long ago my boyfriend of 8 months and I were talking and I guess that during our conversation something triggered him to talk about a girl, who last year (Feb-2017) he met in his work area, she is a Senior management administrator of a beautiful building, and he is part of a group of engineers who were working in that building, so he told me that she was very flirtatious, he thought she was engaged because of a ring she had, but then she appeared without the ring, cause her boyfriend had dumped her for his ex-girlfriend.
So well my boyfriend which by that time was single, and we had not met each other, started going out with her, and getting to know each other, this girl was always flirting with him, and so he felt attracted to her quickly, thereby felt many illusions quickly, the point is they did not have a relationship, it never got to the point of boyfriend-girlfriend type of relationship (they did not even have sex) he told me that he got tired cause she was too Diva, but also that she was too insecure and was not balanced mentally (According to my boyfriend) so he got bored with her excuses, and her behavior I guess, so that ended.
So a weekend when we were together, he brought her up, I do remember when him and I started dating he talked very superficially about her, barely nothing, but now he opened more about her and who is she and more detailed explanations, So I felt a little insecure when he brought her up(Especially when he said that she is very pretty, looks like a model, has a great job, etc, This really made me feel DOWN!!!) cause I had seen a picture of her on his Facebook (BTW me and My boyfriend don’t have each other on Facebook, months ago he told me his profile user name, to add each other but I never did), so this girl that I had seen on his friends list, I had assumed it was the same girl he had mentioned at the beginning, and in fact it was her, so I knew how she looked physically, She does have a similar style/prototype like me.
But now for some weird reason, I feel the curiosity to see how she looks like, to see her pictures and compare myself to her, and see who is hotter, prettier, the best body all his nonsense. I don’t want to say it’s an obsession, but I get very curious about all of this, Am I being insecure for feeling this way? Or is it normal curiosity, or just to even compare myself to another girl that my boyfriend had something with.
I just feel very curious, I just hope he is not with me, because that girl and me have a similar prototype. I feel as if I wanted to know who he finds better if me or her, physically speaking, but I don’t dare to ask him, I don’t think that I won’t. I am going to be honest, I don’t want to sound cocky or like if I am trying to put her down, I admit she is pretty, but the way that my boyfriend described her or talked about her, was not what I was expecting, I thought she was like some gorgeous 5’9 (1.75 m)model, beautiful face, hair, everything, So I felt very shocked, like surprised when I saw her picture, I was thinking of something WOW, but not Really, as I said she is pretty, cute girl, normal to me, just my opinion, but not supermodel, he even told me that the building where she works, half of the man that lived in that luxury building where after her, sending her flowers, she is part of the management group.
He told me at first that they almost got intimate, but they didn’t and yesterday when I brought the topic how much is too long to wait to have sex again, I was like a year is too much in my opinion, so I asked him if last year (referring to 2017) if had intimacy with someone or not, and he says ’‘yes at the beginning, I was with a girl. We went out a couple of times, and had sex’’, was it love? NO, and I am glad it did not work. He says he does not like the fact that a girl has too many admirers behind her. This girl apparently did have many. According to him half of the building in which she worked was after her!!
He told me that this thing between them vanished, he got tired, fed up, he told me that at the beginning he felt a very quick emotion/illusion for her, FACT IS: he realized that he was more interested/invested in her, than she was in him, cause at the end he got to see who she was (Diva, insecure, etc) he said she had like personal problems, cause her boyfriend had dumped her for this blonde girl, so my bf did not understand why! Because he says this girl is way prettier, good person, good job etc, so he started with the whole she was even asked if she wanted to model, blah, b blah, I don’t understand why my bf has to mention this, for all I know the times that he has mentioned her to me, he always says the SAME THING!!! And I told him maybe she is insecure, cause she does not like her body, or does not have a good body or something, and boy oh boy this part messed me up, he was like:’‘in fact she has a great body, all the ladies that lived in the building where she works told her ’‘oh wow you have an amazing hourglass/ coke bottle body!!, I WAS SO BOTHERED.
My boyfriend does not know at all that I have seen her pictures already, and honestly I think he is exaggerating without a doubt, this girl does not have a coke bottle body, she has big boobs cause she had plastic surgery, chubby strong upper body, and her lower body is normal, I did not see curves at all, and model of what?? She is 5’4 (1.63 m) I believe that after my boyfriend divorced his ex-wife,he got to live life again, so when he saw this woman he was mesmerized, after all he married his older wife when he was just 30 years old.
What bothers me is the fact that he mentions her to me and makes her seem more beautiful than what she is in reality, why is he exaggerating her so much? what is the purpose of this?. I mean he has talked about her in total, like 4 times, 2 times it was my fault from bringing up subjects in which obviously he was going to mention her.
I could tell he got bothered when I told him, that I was not trying to offend him or anything, but that this girl was normal to me, pretty but the normal type, not anything wow! I felt it strike a nerve on him.
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