I grew up with so much pain. I remember when I was still in school always thinking about suicide. There were days I didn’t really want to wake up. I remember that I suffered so much on weekends, thinking about the week that was to come. I survived. Then I went to high school. I ended up being suicidal again. At first I thought I couldn’t kill myself: it would be so unfair since I lived through school… since I was still alive. I survived. Then I went to college. It all went bad for worse. I got on antidepressants, I spent a week on the hospital, I went to the doctor regularly. My grades went downhill. I stopped all that. I was sick for several days from withdrawing of those pills. I got better. My grades went up again. My grades are high now and I went back to practice sports again. But for what? Everyday I’m always trying to make it. I have no desire to live. Sometimes I just got so sad for no reason. I don’t know what to. I don’t know how to get better… It’s been more than 7 years since I’ve been feeling like this. What if this feeling never ends? What if I don’t live enough for this feeling to end? There’s many things wrong in my life… I feel so alone.