Fluther: Older jellies: do you hate to talk about medical stuff?

Older jellies: do you hate to talk about medical stuff?

Asked by Jeruba (55833

) April 2nd, 2019
25 responses
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As you and your friends get older, do you find that your conversation tends to consist more and more of reports on ailments, symptoms, aches and pains, doctors, treatments, meds, and all that?

And do you hate it?

I’d rather talk about anything but. Sure, a little update with friends on major health conditions and events, but then—something less boring!

Especially over a meal.

I know people who regularly send out long e-mail chronicles of their health matters, complete with full, excruciating detail and sometimes even pictures. I think some people talk about this stuff just to show that they can memorize and deliver up quantities of numerical data and meticulous incident-by-incident personal histories. Maybe they’ve never felt so important to themselves.

I’ve told my sons, “When I’m old and feeble and laid in bed under medical care, for Pete’s sake don’t ask me how my breathing or my bowels are or what the doctor said. Ask me what I’m reading.”

Do you relish this subject or avoid it?

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Topics: health, conversation, age, symptoms, medical conditions

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Answers

Oh, yeah. I don’t like it. I am just as sure as I can be that nobody wants to hear the details of my hemorrhoid surgery. So many older people just want to go on and on about their medical issues and I don’t know why. I hope to hell I never become one of them.
Unfortunately, Rick is one of those…but it’s not because he’s older. It’s because he’s a gossip and always has been. His whole family is. I finally had to shut him down, in no uncertain terms to quit blabbing to his family about every little check up and irregularity I had. In fact, he’s the real reason I lost my teaching job when I was in the hospital in 2012. He kept my boss up to date on every little thing, every little hiccup, and making it all so dramatic, to the point she was convinced I had permanent brain damage. She wasn’t the only one in town that believed that, either, thanks to his gossip.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to deal with my explosive diarrhea. I think there is blood in it too. Or no…I think that’s just a small tear in a blood vessel near Myanus.

Dutchess_III (46815

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It depends on the person and the circumstance, I guess. As we age there are more medical problems that manifest and they can consume a fair amount of time and energy just coping. As long as it’s not the entirety of someone’s conversation I am happy to listen a bit and sympathize.
And sometimes if I am taken down by injury or nasty illness, I appreciate a sympathetic ear and a helping hand.

canidmajor (21237

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Response moderated (Spam)

I definitely avoid talking about my past health issues (I don’t have any significant health issues now). Very painful to go over it and there are very few who would be interested.

Sometimes I’ll have indicate that I had a heart problem because people heard that I was once a pretty good marathon runner an triathlete. They ask me why I stopped and ask if it was because of knee problems. I just say that I have titanium knees and never had a problem with them and then tersely say that it was a heart problem caused by long distance running and I don’t want to go into that.

Sometimes a person with a similar heart problem as mine will ask me about my experience. I’ll go into details thinking that it might be helpful to the other person.

gondwanalon (22879

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Exactly @gondwanalon. Only if it may help them. I can’t imagine someone thinking others would be entertained by my gross medical details…. except you wanna hear about my lasik surgery in 1999? It was gory cool! My son took the VHS of it to his HS for show and tell.

Dutchess_lll (8745

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Response moderated

My dad used to call it the “organ recital”.

Caravanfan (13529

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LOL!

Dutchess_lll (8745

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I think some people feel so smart being able to talk in complicated medical terms and with their new found knowledge regarding the function of the one organ in question, and they just want to impress people.

Dutchess_lll (8745

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Nah, it’s fun and entertaining.

joeschmo (1396

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It’s a necessary evil with all that’s going on with me and my loved ones around me. It’s certainly not all we talk about, but with it being huge parts of our lives, it can be supportive.

anniereborn (15511

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@anniereborn…if everyone around is in agreement then share away. But some ~~older~~ people seem to want to talk about it with everyone they come into contact with.
It’s like Fried Green Tomatoes ~ “Have you ever had one of those Fleet enemas?”

Dutchess_lll (8745

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I don’t really want to hear about other people’s health issues and I don’t want to discuss mine. Thankfully I have few health issues and they’re not major but still. A little bit is ok, like today my boss who is also my friend was talking about her knee and how it’s been hurting. Five minutes, tops LOL and that’s enough.

I have a friend with health issues and she will happily tell you why she can’t eat this or can’t eat that because of the issues. I don’t think that’s really appropriate. I’d just say “no thank you” and leave it at that.

Sometimes it can be interesting, for example a friend was telling me she has osteoporosis and she literally broke her back. I was interested in hearing about it because it’s a good reminder to me to take vitamins, etc.

I’m not talking about my aches and pains and I don’t want someone to monopolize the conversation talking about theirs.

jca2 (16270

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♤♤ That.

Dutchess_lll (8745

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I don’t have anything to talk about other than a little tennis elbow. I can live with that. As for others, I think it is just like everything else we talk about. Something is on your mind and you want to share so you do.

seawulf575 (16672

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^^^^And never mind if it is inappropriate in the circumstance? A gross description at the dinner table just because you want to share?
Just do / say whatever you want?

Dutchess_lll (8745

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^Really? You’ve never had an “inappropriate” conversation even at the dinner table? C’mon. We all have said things that were off color at some time or another. Eating dinner at my mom’s house and we had conversations about how certain foods don’t agree and what those symptoms look like. She’s 86…she’s earned the right to have these discussions at her own table. My wife has told me repeatedly at dinner time how spicy foods cause her acid reflux and have, in the past, put her in the hospital. Again….I don’t consider it inappropriate. Now…if she were describing, in detail, a crap she just took, I would probably clock her on it. But she doesn’t do that…especially at the dinner table.
I do find your comment very interesting though. On a different topic you were describing the joys of prostitution, yet you get gummed up over someone talking about an ailment at the dinner table. Quite a contradiction.

seawulf575 (16672

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No. I have never had an inappropriate conversation at a dinner table. I was raised by parents with some class and dignity.
I fail to see how talking about vomit or diarrhea at a dinner table somehow relates to prostitution, like they are both dirty, disgusting and gross.

Care to clarify?

Dutchess_lll (8745

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Both would be considered inappropriate conversations in many areas. Yet you were all for prostitution…it’s a great way to make money, should be legal, etc. You even ignored the human trafficking aspect of it. And yet you find it offensive if someone talks about their ailments. You don’t see the issue, I know. But while you are sitting there on your high horse, you might want to realize that what is considered offensive is more than what YOU decide. Tell you what…the next time you are sitting around the dinner table with the hubby and the kids (and grandkids if you have them), why don’t you tote out your views of prostitution. See how that goes over.

seawulf575 (16672

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Human trafficking is sex against someone’s will. That’s evil.

If a woman wants to have sex with a different guy every night, and gets something tangible in return, like some heavy lifting done, then that’s her business, not yours. For most men having sex with a different woman every night is a dream come true, but that’s not gross. That’s a victory. It’s only gross if a woman does it. You know, like vomit and diarrhea.

Dutchess_III (46815

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We’ve had that discussion in a different thread. You assume a lot on my side of that when you respond (such as it is okay for a guy to cat around all the time. I find guys like that are lacking in so many areas and I have no real respect for the women either). As I said…tote out that conversation for your kids and grandkids at the dinner table. I’m willing to bet it goes over like a fart in church.

seawulf575 (16672

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You are the one who brought up prostitution as an example of gross dinner table conversation! And now you’re whining that we’re discussing it. LOL!

Dutchess_III (46815

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