I do this for a living. This is what my training has taught me.

First, be gentle but be direct. Use the word suicide. Say, “I’m sorry you’re hurting. Are you thinking of suicide?” Never ask them if they’re thinking of harming themselves. A suicidal person is never thinking of harming themselves. They are only thinking of ending the pain. To them, ending the pain is a good thing to do for themselves.

Using the word suicide destigmatizes the act. It takes away the shame the hurting person is likely feeling.

Next, assess the level of commitment to seeking death by suicide. Ask the person if they have a plan to die by suicide. If they have an active plan, seek professional help immediately and do not leave the person alone. You can call 911 in the US or your police hotline in your country. In the US and Canada, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800–273-8255.

Here is a list of Suicide Prevention resources by country.

Let the person who is hurting know that they are heard. Really listen to them. Be gentle but direct. Use the word suicide in the conversation. Don’t think you can do more than you really can. Seek professional help when appropriate.

What other scientifically backed practices have you heard to use when someone is contemplating suicide?

Topics: mental health, help, mental illness, suicide, caregiving, professional help