General Question

ragingloli's avatar

If necromancy was real, what would be your business model as a necromancer?

Asked by ragingloli (49024points) June 16th, 2019
14 responses
“Great Question” (3points)

And what sort of governmental regulations would you expect having to adhere to?

Observing members: 0
Composing members: 0


RedDeerGuy1's avatar

Providing lively bodies for necrophiliacs and bringing back dead pets would be banned.

Zombies could be used to preform chores around the house.

filmfann's avatar

I would use these skills to find a way to prevent raising certain people from the dead, then charge their enemies to continue to be free of them.

flutherother's avatar

I would specialise in sending clients down to the Land of the Dead to communicate with deceased family members and friends. As the procedure is not without risk the Health and Safety regulations would be burdensome and the required insurance cover expensive.

What would make the job worthwhile are the rare and sentimental objects that can be discovered in the rotting coffins and which clients are sometimes persuaded to hand over to me. There is nothing more attractive than the dim glow of a ruby or an emerald seen through a film of ancient dust and shroud of spider’s web.

Yellowdog's avatar

It would depend on what level of death, undeath, or life that the dead were raised to.

(1) The way it’s really done in Haiti and in a couple of places here in Memphis, where a tetrodotoxin from the puffer fish (mixed with common, ordinary dirt—the mixture is called ;goofer dust’) paralyses the victim who appears dead and is buried. Brain damage occurs due to lack of oxygen. The victim is dug up and is in a stupor and brain damaged but suseptable to suggestion and becomes a mentally deficient slave. That’s how we do zombies in Memphis,

(2) The dead are really dead and putrid and maggoty but reanimated to life—not really “alive” but reanimated corpses. They aren’t good for much but crashing and stinking up teen parties, Or reintroducing some girl to her boyfriend now a walking corpse. I assume they still think stupor-like thoughts and miss their former lives and try to reconnect with their loved ones and work associates.

(3) Where they are similar to #2 but alive again, just in an advanced state of decay;

(4) Those whose death is “cured” completely and they are alive again and can go about their former lives for a few more years at least.
You usually have to make a deal with the devil for such smooth results, but there are usually unexpected consequences for the living, or some consequences for the reanimated that involves eternity, hell, etc when death comes ‘round again,

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

It would be exclusively reserved for the elite

elbanditoroso's avatar

I think it’s like any other profession where the results are, to put it mildly, unprovable.

How does necromancy differ from ‘regular’ fortune telling? Except for communication with the dead, is there any serious different?

From a regulatory point of view, laws are all over the place.

In Massachusetts, fortune tellers must be licensed.

There is a lot of history in the US for fortune telling being a fraud link

And also un the UK link

So I would think that any consumer protection against this sort of industry is a positive thing.

ragingloli's avatar

It is different because you are literally reanimating corpses and skeletons, and they walk around for everyone to see.

elbanditoroso's avatar

How does a necromancer set prices?

gorillapaws's avatar

@elbanditoroso I would guess it would be somewhere between a first-class puppeteer and a Vegas headliner magician.

SaganRitual's avatar

Without question, I would set it up as an exotic animal breeding service, you know, for zoos and stuff. Of course, that means I’d never make any money, because zoos are forever underfunded. It’s a crass culture. But I would do it for love of the animals, and because the business cards would be awesome:

Necromancer’s Exotic Animal Breeding Service: From Giraffes to Ostriches, We’ve Got Zoo Covered.

I’m here all week.

RedDeerGuy1's avatar

A mortician making a corpse presentable for viewing.

flutherother's avatar

I would design a range of cosmetics for the deceased. Charnel No 5 for example.

SaganRitual's avatar

@flutherother I’m reminded of an article I read on how to annoy copy editors. One of the methods was to use the letters “r” and “n” to resemble an “m”. So you might write an article about swirnrners at the pool, or remind women to get periodic rnarnrnary exams.

I’m like, Chamel? Anyway, well done. Took me a minute.

flutherother's avatar

@SaganRitual You mean a rninute.

Answer this question




to answer.

Mobile | Desktop

Send Feedback