Oof. I think this is a heavy question with no single easy answer. I think there are dozens of factors that play into adultery.
There’s this whole paradigm that started ever since humans settled into agricultural society. It was okay for a man to cheat but offensive for a woman to cheat. It was this double standard that has persisted in agricultural societies for years and years.
I’ve heard some interesting theories that instead of trying to level the playing field by telling men not to cheat, it’s more that women should be accepted as having a sex life too and not be seen as delicate flowers waiting to be deflowered, because the ultimate “truth” is that all humans will always feel horny no matter what. Women can be just as horny as men. It’s just that societal standards suppressed the desires of women, and the idea of a woman being open about her sexual tastes was and still kind of is frowned upon.
Sex and love are really strange things. There are people you want to be with for the rest of your life and then there are people your body keeps telling you “Hey I want to screw that person because they naturally look like they’re perfectly capable of giving birth and I am attracted to them as demanded by millions of years of hard-wired evolution in my brain”. Then there are people who you find aesthetically pleasing but not necessarily want to have sex with. The list goes on. It’s a very complicated spectrum rather than “either love this person or not”.
I think the solution is to be as open as possible with your partner about all these things. You will ultimately find the right partner who would accept your personal feelings and views on sex and love. There ARE couples I know who go out screwing other people and they have a perfectly stable relationship because they openly embrace their tastes and are able to separate love and sex. I’m not saying that’s the only way to go – everybody is different. But we shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it openly and dissect the double-standard and the monogamy paradigm.