I’m a pretty laid back parent of a 12 year old girl. I let her stay up late and we pretty much have a pre-set bedtime for school nights. If she doesn’t shut the light off, and I say “it’s time to go to sleep” I don’t expect to have to explain why it’s time to go to sleep.
When it comes to shopping, I always buy her stuff but not excessively, because she would love it if I bought all kinds of crap and very little of it does she actually need. So I will do it on a case-by-case basis. If it’s something for $20 and I say yes, and then she asks for something else in the same shopping trip, I’ll tell her she has to choose, either this or that. Not both. If it’s something she needs, like school supplies or sneakers for sports, then of course it’s different.
I’m flexible, I’m cool, I’m lenient, but when I say enough’s enough, then enough’s enough.
It’s not black and white, and I don’t think anybody could say “it’s terrible” to say “because I said so” once in a while, nor is it always the best answer 100% of the time. We go with the flow, things change, circumstances change.