Intellectually, I know this is an extremely stupid thought, but I just can’t convince myself so emotionally.

I know of a person whose life is so perfect in my standard that my brain has a hard time believing she exists. She learns so well she doesn’t need to try too hard at school and still top her class. She takes on various school contests and wins most of them effortlessly. She is so popular at school that her friends willingly elect her as class president and she does her job nicely. She draws much better than me and can point out my drawing mistakes. She owns a Youtube channel posting her own animations and has a dream of reaching 1 million subscribers. She has a supportive family who provides her every help that they can so that she can immense herself in her passion of drawing and fashion design. She is the very definition of “flawless”.

Watching her, I just can’t help being reminded of my own past. At her age I was extremely unpopular and even shunned. I was good at my study but I had to work my ass off for it. I had never won anything worthwhile in school contests. I could only call my drawing decent recently, at her age my drawing was horrible. I didn’t even know what Internet was, let alone dreaming of Youtube fame. And I could only wish my family was only 1% as supportive as hers.

I know very well comparison is unhealthy, but this person is just so perfect I fail to ignore. I don’t know why I feel this way. Maybe the fact that she has all the good things without having to work for it just rubs me the wrong way, because I strongly believe in hard work. Maybe I’m just irritated that because she doesn’t work for anything, she seems cocky, unsympathetic and lazy, whether she really intends to be like that or not. Maybe I’m just jealous that I had to work so hard only to come second to someone who was born with a silver spoon.

I’m so sorry for the rant. This is so pathetic. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot.