I can tell you from the CPS standpoint in New York state, they say it all depends on the child. There are 15 year olds you wouldn’t leave home alone, but there are 10 or 11 year olds you would. It also depends on the length of time. When My daughter was 9 and 10, I could leave her for an hour or two. Some kids at 12 you wouldn’t leave for an hour. A good question to ask is how responsible the child is. Also how comfortable are they being left alone? Would they do something foolish like play with matches? If there were an emergency, like a fire, could they get themselves out and get any other children out? I wouldn’t leave a 9 year old with a smaller kid and a baby for example, because in a fire, they’re not going to be able to get them all out. So in NYS at least, there’s no easy answer.
When I was young, I had babysitters up to 4th grade. In 4th grade, I could go home and then the babysitter would come later, or if, from her apartment, I could walk to my apartment to pick something up. It was just in the next building.
My daughter is 12 now and I can leave her in the day time or evening, but at night, like if I’m at a function and it’s ten o’clock at night, I know she prefers if I’m home so I try to get home and not do that to her too often. Anything I go to at night, she’s welcome to attend as well but some things she doesn’t want to do, like a birthday party for a 60 year old. She’d rather stay home, but then I have to leave around 9 or 9:30 to get home to her, which I do because I know she wants me home.
There was a mom at the school who was talking about another mom who left her child home alone at age 10, and the mom was saying she was going to call CPS on the mom. I didn’t want to argue with her, but I was thinking, go ahead, it’s just going to be a hassle for all involved but not necessarily something bad.
If the child is too young, the parent can get arrested, as you see sometimes on the news, a mom will be arrested for leaving the child home alone or somewhere alone, while the mom goes to a bar or something crazy. It happens more than we know, but most of the time I think nobody realizes it. For example, if a mom lives in a building, she could wait till the baby is asleep and then go out, and nobody would know.