I assume that many do not understand my reasons for what seems like a recluse lifestyle but in fact is a rewarding life where I am completing one by one all the things that I had always wanted to finish and they don’t understand that it has nothing to do with them at all.
It is a “bucket list” that I had finally got the time in retirement to get done, as it is important to me.
I spent far too much time trying to please others and in doing so probably spoiled them with too much ‘giving”.
I stopped doing that over the last year or so and I feel much better and more authentic now.
I realized that what I was doing was trying to get “approval’ due to a childhood of feeling no value in our family.
I finally realized that one doesn’t need to feel valued from another but to value oneself in spite of it.
And thus I carry on with MY life as healthy as I can get while developing myself in all areas to become the best that I can be.
I also am in a community ( retirement apartment block) that seems to be lost in the “old days”, and I suppose its the age differences that encompass this diversity in interests which are compared to the 1920’s/30’s lifestyles vs the present.
I am comfortable,secure but very much feel out of place here so I do other things to occupy my time and efforts into more productive adventures.
As to my “Good Friends” most would describe me as outgoing, friendly and generous ,sociable.
But those friends have gone off on there own adventures travelling and doing there own goals separate from mine and I understand that and am grateful for the time that we were close friends.