What causes people to gaslight (NSFW + TW for mentions of abuse)
My ex-boyfriend is trying to take everything to trial. I don’t understand because there is a lot of evidence against him and its all conversations on texting and such. So I’m not sure how it can be denied. But anyways, I see requests for a speedy trial and all that on CCAP so clearly he is trying to do something here.
~He tried convincing me that I am the one who suggested having sex with men for money, Even after I pulled up the FB conversation on my laptop and showed him (we were video chatting) that there is no way I brought it up first. He kept trying to deny it and tell me I brought it up on a different app. I ended up calling the police (who had read the conversations) because I thought I was going insane and I wasn’t sure if I made the right decision by reporting him.
~He tried to convince me that I forced him to rent a car, drive 2.5 hrs, and get a hotel in a different state to see me. I was 16, he was 26. How does a 16 year old force someone to do that???? Not to mention he video chatted with me multiple times for 5–8 hours prior to meeting up with me. He wanted that, not just me.
~He would go back and forth on trying to force me into open relationships. Would tell me “fine, we can stay committed” and then an hour later tell me I have to be okay with being open and would deny ever telling me we could be committed, even after I sent him screenshots as proof.
~He “had lunch” with a girl, then they did something sexual, then it was they actually had sex. Then it was my fault he had to go off with other women because I pissed him off so much.
~Everything he did that was abusive was my fault, I caused him to cheat, I caused him to treat me badly. I was the reason everything went wrong in the relationship. I don’t actually think this to be true, but that his what he thinks.
He never once admitted to ever doing anything wrong. He thinks I am the crazy one who is just out to get him. Even despite all the evidence he is still trying to deny all this? I can’t understand how he is this delusional.
I don’t really expect people to read all that, but what causes another human to put someone through that much psychological pain? I mean I pretty much begged my parents to take me to a mental hospital at one point because of how messed up it made me. What is the reasoning behind gaslighting and psychological abuse? If anybody has any stories they would like to share, or how they dealt with it in the healing processes, please feel free to share. I am in the process of trying to get better and could use any and all advice as well
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