I wouldn’t appreciate if my S/O was texting with anyone on a daily basis especially if he was taking time away from me or kids.

I see it as two different things.

Communicating with someone on a daily basis is called friendship. Very normal and healthy.

An emotional affair is having feelings for someone outside your relationship.
I’ve been through this and it’s pretty devastating and destroys trust.

There used to be a crime “alienation of affection” – which was that the guy (usually) was causing the woman to no longer love her husband.

Even if there was no sex.

I don’t think it is a crime any more, but it’s ethically questionable.

Wow okay that makes sense though it’s not just the communicating. Why was it so devastating thought? There is no sex involved. That must been hard. Thanks.

@honeybun35 Not only was I the victim, but I was also a perpetrator once in my early 20’s, in all honesty. So I’ve seen both sides.

I guess it was devastating because the person he was emotionally cheating with was married, in love with my SO, worked with him, and when we all got together she cornered me with a ton of things he had revealed to her about the failings in our relationship.

Obviously I felt betrayed and hurt that he could say something like that to another woman and not to me, especially to a random I didn’t know. I’m sure I looked at her like she had five heads during her spiteful tirade, so incredibly rude of them both.

O wow. Yes because that is very personal. When they start confiding in someone like that they say they feel close to that person.

Most men want to get emotionally involved and if they are married and stat to look elsewhere for validation then it spells the end of that relationship.
Also keep in mind that if he does it to his wife he will surly do it to his girlfriend as well.
Yes it is harmful.

@KNOWITALL…I am so sorry. :(.
My husband started having physical affairs and I don’t know why. Just his endless ego I guess. One gal called me to brag about it.
I said, “It’s just an office romance. Happens all the time. It will pass.”
Eventually she got really frustrated with me and in a confused voice she said, “Don’t you feel threatened by me?”
I chuckled and said, “No. Why would he want a VW off the street, when he has a Cadillac in the garage?”
I just wiped the floor with her.
Eventually he moved out. And when he was free to see her as much as he wanted, it was all over with in 2 weeks.

Emotional affairs are dangerous.

No. At least, not always. But some who get hurt, hurt forever.
But being emotional can be vague. For example, if a person is in love, REALLY in love, then, yes, it can be harmful. But if a person just convinces themselves that they are in love, then maybe it won’t hurt as much. And if they never were really in love emotionally, they’ll blow it off in no time.

@Dutchess_III Oh no worries, that was a long time ago.

What I see in our stories that is similar, is how the ‘other woman’ enjoys the feeling of ‘winning’.

I’m sure I showed my hurt and shock on my face, but your response was great-good job. haha!

And she wasn’t the last one, either. Anyway, I divorced the asshole.

@Dutchess_III I’m sure and good for you!

The one I was with is now in a loveless marriage (so he says….), so I guess he reaped what he sowed as well. Or his poor wife did, who knows.

Oh wow didn’t realize how serious

@Dutchess_III I love your answer! That is the way my wife handles any and all indications of interest by our mutual friends. I find her attitude awesome in a way, but sometimes her confidence in my admiration of her does cause me some heartache. Because, deep inside, I love my Cadillac, but wouldn’t mind a tryst with a VW.

Well, if you’re shallow enough to have a “tryst” with a slut just to see if orgasams with her are different than the ones you had with the woman you took a solemn vow with, and had 3 children with, go for it. I’ll divorce your ass too, then turn my back on you when you cry and whine that you want me back.

Not sure of your answer and how it goes with my question.

@honeybun35: I think she was commenting to @crazyguy.

I see ok.

I should have specified. My bad.

@Dutchess_III Whoa! I never said I intend to give in to my “deep inside” urge.

” I love my Cadillac, but wouldn’t mind a tryst with a VW.” That s a horrible thing to even think. It’s cruel to your wife.

@Dutchess_III I agree. However, I genuinely believe that men are wired differently from women and can indulge fantasies they know to be wrong.