I think it’s harmless to fantasize, as long as it doesn’t interfere with your relationship and as long as you don’t let the women know you are thinking of them in any way other than platonically.

As the saying goes: you’re married, not dead. So long as you aren’t making things uncomfortably weird with your wife or her friends, there’s nothing wrong with some private fantasies.

You could also have a discussion about consensual non-monogamy with your wife if you think that’s a possibility.

Nothing wrong with fantasy. Up to you if it’s worth throwing away your marriage and your friendships just to get laid. I’ve never before had sex that was so good it was worth that (and I’ve had some fun in my years).

Having sexual thoughts about people is normal. Fantasizing is also normal, but can be over-indulged, meaning it can develop into obsessive or intrusive thoughts. For example, I would say that if you reject sex with your wife to instead fantasize about your friend, you may have an issue. Otherwise, no harm done.

Fantasy is fine. Action is not. Things like that turn out badly, and it ruins multiple families and friendships. No matter what the attraction, I wouldn’t do it.

But – millions of people do. It takes two to tango.

Turn those thoughts right off. It’s like working retail with a drawer full of cash. You don’t think of it as the same stuff you have in your wallet.

Might be better than having one of them attracted to you. Been there done that, she put me on the spot in front of my bud. I mean she and I had been friends before she hooked up with my bud, but I never knew she thought of me in a romantic way. Hell I never thought I was all that anyway. But we we all at a club one night and she flat out hit on me in public. Said she wanted to go out with me and she would go with me any time of the day or night, even if she had to climb out her window in here night gown. Ain’t that a hole in the boat?

@Nomore_lockout: I guess she wanted a piece of that!

@jca2 LOL well in all modesty she wouldn’t have been getting much. Just never thought of myself as a ladies man.

@Nomore_lockout: Speaking for myself, I find someone who is not conceited to be more attractive than someone who is cute and knows it.

None of my bees wax, but for my money I think you have the right attitude. @jca2

I dunno, I’ve never found any of my friend’s wives or girlfriends attractive.

A friend of mine used to say that window shopping is fine, just don’t bring anything home.

All, thanks for your answers. I think the best advice is to get your appetite any way you can, but always dine at home!

Well better to be true blue in my opinion..it’s worked for me thru 40 years 2 kids and 8 grand kids. And now a great grand kid. God I’m old : (

@Nomore_lockout I agree 100%. I hear that sex with beautiful women you do not know is certainly not all it is cracked up to be.

@crazyguy Well not if she’s supposed to be engaged to your best bud. That can be a sticky wicket, as the Brits say.

@Nomore_lockout I think that is an absolute no-no. However, even sex with Miss World is going to seem a lot better in the fantasizing than in reality.