Social Question

Demosthenes's avatar

Today is International Men's Day; do you think men's issues are ignored or dismissed by society?

Asked by Demosthenes (14922points) November 19th, 2020
24 responses
“Great Question” (2points)

Do you have anything you want to share for men’s day?

Women’s issues get a lot of attention and for good reason, but men’s issues exist and they are often ignored or dismissed as trivial. It’s important to remember that:
-most suicides are men
-most homeless are men
-most homicide victims are men
-men serve longer in prison than women for the same crime
-men are more likely to lose a custody suit
-men can be raped, men can be abused

Not to mention the fact that more boys are diagnosed with autism and ADD and traditional schooling seems, in many ways, geared more toward the way girls learn. I am not intending to start an “Oppression Olympics” between men and women. I’m simply pointing out that there are issues that disproportionately affect males and it’s important to remember these issues exist. In my personal experience, I see little attention paid to them.

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Answers

Zaku's avatar

I think that the main issue, and one which indirectly causes many of the things you mention, is about cultural ideas about what masculinity and male roles, identities and strengths are or should be like.

I’d say it’s actually part of the same larger problem that results in “women’s issues” too. Both are impacted, if in different ways, by the same thing.

What I feel are the worst and more primary impacts on men are about how we’re trained to shut down, deny, reject and forget our emotional, sensitive, communicative, yin and feminine aspects. So many men have lost touch with a large part of themselves. We end up living not as our full selves and not understanding that. We don’t work through too many of our emotions, and develop messy egos. Many become more sour, depressed, nasty, argumentative, etc than we might otherwise be. Some become aggressive or oppressive or even dangerous assholes who naturally are more likely to kill each other or themselves and lose their wives, become homeless, etc (see your list above).

Zaku (30353points)“Great Answer” (10points)
Demosthenes's avatar

@Zaku Excellent answer. I agree that women’s issues and men’s issues are related. And I agree that a lot of men’s issues result from a suppression of that emotional aspect of themselves and the pressure men face from society to be a certain way. This being expressed in the most extreme manner when a man kills his family then himself after financial ruin, for example. Obviously that’s rare but it’s representative of a colossal failure of the societal expectations of men.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Too many boys are taught that only anger and aggression are appropriate emotional responses to virtually every thing.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I do think men’s issues are readily dismissed by society in general and I have a ton of sympathy for them.

Most of my very close friends have been male and they have a lot of issues, from really abusive girlfriends and spouses (or psychologically abusive), to an inferiority complex as they age, to a loss in identity as the population changes. Being called a deadbeat dad when they pay their child support and actually want to be involved, but mom’s ugly inside. Court systems that will give kids back to an addicted mother while a sober father is there and willing. There’s just so many issues that favor women, but I’m telling you, there are some bat-crap crazy women out there.

Earning potential as well as sexual issues also tend to phase out men as they age, which can lead many into depression or loss of self-worth. I’ve seen many older men get really down on themselves as they are passed over for promotions and jobs that they are overqualified for, in favor of younger men. Then we have the man-boys who don’t want to grow up and face the fact that they are older, which is a whole other issue, but affects so many, it’s quite suprising. I’ve even seen it here with a few male jellies who are getting older.

Plus after the recent ruling on Johnny Depp and Heard, this question is very much appropriate. I don’t know the truth, since I wasn’t there, but if she got away with spousal abuse due to her sex, it’s infuriating.

gorillapaws's avatar

I’ll let you know the day after Steak and Blowjob Day.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

I’m more concerned about getting Trump out of office, peacefully, and getting a handle on Covid 19. Any “male gender” issues are low priority for me. There will be plenty of time for philosophizing later. If and when things calm down and we return to normal.

gondwanalon's avatar

About 1 man in 41 will die from prostrate cancer. No one seems to give a damn.

About 10K more women die from breast cancer than men die from prostrate cancer but about you can’t forget about that as the world becomes painted pink.

doyendroll's avatar

@gondwanalon There’s no need to take prostrate cancer lying down.

Hamb's avatar

@gondwanalon – Are you unable to get dudes motivated to wear their prostrate awareness products? What do people say when you wear blue ribbons, etc?

Why do you think the medical community doesn’t take prostate cancer seriously? Since it’s a for-profit industry, do you feel that there is something about the nature of a parasitic, for-profit industry that doesn’t prioritize what you feel is most important?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Why do you think they don’t “care” about it?

jca2's avatar

Prostate not prostrate.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Far too many men (particularly but not exclusively college age) are blamed for rape without evidence and without a chance to defend themselves.

Single men are consistently denied the ability to adopt a child. Single women find it easier, and of course women can be artificially inseminated.

As @Demosthenes wrote, men are far less likely to be granted custody than women.

Men are expected to be brave and fearless, when they may have no inclination to be.

gondwanalon's avatar

@Hamb If I ask my family practice doctor for a prostate check he will ask me if I’m having symptoms. If I have no symptoms then he can’t give me a prostrate exam or do a PSA blood test.

Once symptoms are present then it may be too late to stop the cancer.

Also, I’ve never seen a blue prostrate awareness ribbon being worn by anyone. Have you?
Meanwhile pink ribbons are very plentiful.

Once on a long airplane flight all passengers were forced to watch a long breast cancer awareness video. We could not even turn off the screen.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I don’t understand what “breast cancer awareness” is supposed to do? What purpose does it serve?

If you have insurance they should pay for a yearly exam I would think @gondwanalon.

jca2's avatar

@Dutchess_III: It’s supposed to make you aware that you need an annual mammogram and need to pay attention for lumps, etc.

Dutchess_III's avatar

But I don’t need all kinds of fan fare to tell me that. No one else I know does either.

jca2's avatar

@Dutchess_III: Some people do need to be reminded. Also they need to know if you catch it early, breast cancer is beatable.

gorillapaws's avatar

“Women and children first.” Why do you get to live and I have to die because you don’t have any Y chromosomes? It seems like a silly standard in modern times. There are plenty of women I’d push out of a lifeboat to make room for more deserving people.

Dutchess_III's avatar

What the hell are you talking about @gorilla? If you need a prostate exam you shall have one. If you get prostate cancer you shall have surgery.
I don’t know why your doc wouldn’t give you an exam. Maybe it’s time to change doctors.

gorillapaws's avatar

@Dutchess_III “What the hell are you talking about”

I was answering the original question. Women and children first is kind of bullshit. Children first is reasonable, and I get why women used to receive priority over men, but not in today’s world. It may not be a legal standard, but I have a feeling that if I were in a situation with 100 strangers about to die and 10 spots on the escape pod, that there would be plenty of people saying “women and children first.”

Demosthenes's avatar

Re. cancer, it’s also important for men to remember to check their testicles for testicular cancer (or have them checked at a physical) but somehow testicles don’t have the appeal that breasts do.

Again, not trying to make this a contest, but there are some things that should be talked about more.

KNOWITALL's avatar

I’m going to agree with the guys on cancer. My husbands physicals are extremely hands off and it pusses me off. Women are checked top to bottom and everywhere in between our entire lives.
I dont understand the difference in cancer awareness.

Dutchess_III's avatar

since I hit 50 male doctors aren’t so eager to put their stethoscopes on my bare skin. They are really eager to.do.pap smears any more either.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think you’re being ridiculous @gorillapaws. Making a big ado out of nothing. If we end up.on a sinking ship I’ll let you go first, OK?

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