Some of each. Events such as my brother dying when I was little and my Ex walking out on me, changed my life suddenly and completely. They were not expected. Other changes such as the personal growth following those events and gaining more confidence and self acceptance happened gradually over time.

I intuitively know that everything can change in a moment but I am still gobsmacked every time it does.

In hindsight, I’ve had single events that defined the course of my life in ways that my life would now be very different had they not happened, or happened differently.

The change over time was still mostly gradual and slow.

No, pretty much always been the same ol’, same ol’. Never much more shaking than the leaves on the trees.

The death of my father.

Like @janbb, I’ve had both. Getting sober and coming out both happened instantly for me, but they each led to gradual changes that have great importance.

Super-vague questions… here are some super-vague answers:

“Have you ever had an experience that you felt suddenly changed your life completely… [?]”
– Yes. Several. Also many other ones that could have, but didn’t because of the choices I made during them.

”… or have changes come more slowly over time?”
– OR? Not “or”, but both/also, yes. They certainly are not mutually exclusive.

“Do expectations make a difference?”
– Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

“If you think everything you know and do could change, does it make it more likely?”
– Depending on what you’re thinking about and doing, and what happens, yes it can, or it can not. In general, though, yes, very much so.

Being open to possible changes does make those changes much more possible. We look for and notice the things we expect and are thinking about, and we behave so as to leave space for possibilities we are open to, and we don’t notice, don’t recognize, don’t believe, distruct and don’t act on possibilities we are not open to.

@zaku – Life is vague. I’m sure of it :D

When my first son was born, my outlook on life turned around. I went from feeling worthless to wanting to be a good mother to this perfect little baby.

Mostly, the changes are gradual. I think for two reasons. One, I usually purposely try to slow transition down. Two, because I purposely continue certain things in my life when change happens.

I have had devastating changes like breaking up with a long time boyfriend when I was in my 20’s and several different health problems. Those were sudden in a way, but even my grasp of what was happening was in slow motion at first. The deep sadness and anxiety was even worse a few weeks after the event and stayed with me a while.

Dealing with covid precautions was a rather sudden change. We adjusted, but it’s getting too long now. I think getting back out into a more normal world again will be the slow part of the covid journey for me.

My two marriages changed my life completely and , I feel, for the better. My life was enriched by knowing both sets of inlaws. One pair in Chicago , one in Dallas. Then you meet their extended famllies and it’s all terribly exciting.