Social Question

crazyguy's avatar

In the woke era, do we still have attempts made by randy men to coax a woman into sex?

Asked by crazyguy (3197points) February 19th, 2021
36 responses
“Great Question” (1points)

Unlike dogs, we cannot smell when a woman is ready for sex. Therefore, we rely on cues. Sometimes the message is clear. Sometimes not.

I admitted in an earlier post that I may have been guilty of coaxing girls into sex. I am just wondering if things are different now, in the sense that a woman’s no is respected whether it is intended or not.

I realize that few of the members of this board are in the dating generation. But I also know that we do have some young members. In any case, I would welcome any and all thoughts.

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ragingloli's avatar

I am sure there are plenty of Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby type people in the world.

raum's avatar

Half the country seems to believe it’s perfectly okay to grab a woman by their pussy. So I’m going to go with “yes”.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Of course.

kritiper's avatar

You got something better to do???

Dutchess_III's avatar

^^^^ From your POV. From mine it’s frustrating and annoying as hell when they keep sniffing at you when you’ve loudly and clearly said NO!

LuckyGuy's avatar

I like this bit from a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry makes a consent recording so there are no misunderstandings.

nikipedia's avatar


JLoon's avatar

From my experience – Definitely yes.

But depending on skill and style the coaxing can be welcome & fun, or just annoying. No matter how enlightened or “woke” the times may (or may not) be, some things don’t change.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Some people, like this man, still believe consent is a myth, so yes.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Mimishu1995…I’m not going to watch 30 minutes of video to show what men have been telling me all my life.

And…the more I think about this question the more offensive it becomes. Did the OP really reduce us women to female dogs?

crazyguy's avatar

@ragingloli The word I used was “coax”. What Bill Cosby and Hrvey Weinstein did left no room for a no.

crazyguy's avatar

@raum Not quite half, Otherwise Biden would not be ‘President’.

crazyguy's avatar

@Dutchess_III I am truly surprised by your answer.

crazyguy's avatar

@kritiper Not sure what you mean.

crazyguy's avatar

@Dutchess_III I think if “you’ve loudly and clearly said NO” and a guy keeps pestering you, that borders on RAPE! You should report such guys, and never see them again.

@LuckyGuy I love that clip! But I can see why that sort of thing is not done too often.

@nikipedia WOW is right!

crazyguy's avatar

@Mimishu1995 That is a very depressing video. I managed to get through half of it.

crazyguy's avatar

@Dutchess_III I did not mean to reduce the stature of women in any way. I mam sorry you feel that way.

@JLoon I love your statement: “depending on skill and style the coaxing can be welcome & fun…” That is exactly what I had in mind when I used the word “coax”.

JLoon's avatar

@crazyguy – ”...or just annoying.” Don’t forget that’s always option #2.

I think my point in answering this is that for most women the odds of enjoying sexual advances from a stranger never get better than 50/50.

And as Mimishu’s video shows sometimes it can get much, much worse. As a single female that’s just the reality I face whenever I choose to interact with men I don’t know.

#MeToo and “wokeness” haven’t really done much to improve any of the moves men or women make that can lead up to sex.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

If you’re that freaking horny, go to a cat house and leave the others alone. Damn I’m tired of this shit. Woke era? You mean the Trump/Cosby/Kavanaugh era.

crazyguy's avatar

@JLoon I would hope that most men would not make sexual advances without some sort of encouragement. That should improve the odds for the woman. However, if the woke era has had no impact on “the moves”, I totally sympathize with the woman. I fully understand the feeling because I have had two separate sets of moves made on me by (presumably gay) men in the Bay Area.

@Nomore_lockout Nothing obliges you to respond or even read “this shit”.

Dutchess_III's avatar

@crazyguy the problem is some men imagine encouragement where there is none. Then blame us for “leading them on,” when we didn’t do a damn thing.

JLoon's avatar

@Dutchess_III – True thing.

Sometimes just showing up in public is all the “encouragement” needed.

Mimishu1995's avatar

I want to clarify that I’m in no way in favor of this behavior. I merely stated the fact that some men still disrespect women’s rights and the video is just my evident.

crazyguy's avatar

@Dutchess_III Having been on the receiving end of unwelcome moves, I fully understand your point. There definitely are men who will read encouragement into your smile or friendly comment. However, there are certain actions a woman takes that are definitely encouraging:

1. Agreeing to a date.
2. Agreeing to return to his apartment where she will have zero defense.

I am not for a minute suggesting that either of those two actions should be a license to do as the guy wishes. Also, I know of many individuals who can put on a great show before returning to their base nature. However, I am saying that a woman is better protected by resisting both of the above actions until she sees more of the guy in normal, non-private settings.

crazyguy's avatar

@JLoon I agree 100%. There are times when just looking at a woman can arouse a deep passion. However, I doubt that most men would act on such passions.

@Mimishu1995 I do not think anybody can be in favor of the behavior depicted in that video.

Dutchess_III's avatar

What the hell are you carrying on about? Neither JLoon nor I even came close to referencing either scenerio you described.

Dutchess_III's avatar

And we agree. Most men wouldn’t react on their impulse. We aren’t talking about most men.

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
Nomore_lockout's avatar

We need to put our big boy BVDs on and control our passions. A woman agreeing to a date is not 007, license to abuse. WTF? And many of us need to get the concept thru our skull, that we are not the Cosmos gift to women, most of us would be lucky to get a damn date.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

And some morons might do better to let the woman make the moves. I always tried hard to be gentlemanly, but I know there were several times when I got word thru the grapevine that some girls I was with were actually mad at me, not because I had tried to rip their clothes off, or force my attentions on them, but because I DIDN’T try make a move on them. So you never know. Just chill out and be cool. And I’m speaking rhetorically here, so no need for any of you guys to get butt hurt. I’m only talking about us men in general, and my own experiences in particular.

Dutchess_III's avatar

You still don’t understand what we’re saying. There are times you’ve never said a word to some dude and he’ll come up and say “I saw how you were looking at me! You want me!” Grab. And you hadn’t even noticed him until then.
I mean some men imagine a come on out of thin air.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

@Dutchess_III I know that, and that is basically what I’m driving at. As stated, some men think they are Gods gift to women, they all want his ass. “Here I am baby, you know you want me”. Its a psychological thing, and short of giving some guys a frontal lobotomy, or going to jail for assaulting some ass who did something shitty to a female (been there, done that) then I just don’t know the solution. But I was raised around two sisters and five female cousins, I’ve been looking out for women all my life. I’m not against you ladies here, I get it. Just trying to sort thru this stuff.

crazyguy's avatar

@Dutchess_III @Nomore_lockout What @Nomore_lockout referenced in his post is what men would not like to get a reputation for. And many a woman might think the reason is that the man is not turned on by the woman.

@Dutchess_III There may be a few men of the type you describe. I cannot recall meeting anybody like that. Perhaps you have been unfortunate.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I didn’t “meet” any either. My experiences were hit and run. Disgusting.

Nomore_lockout's avatar

@crazyguy I’ve known a few guys like that, really thought that women should swoon in their presence. Just no accounting for that mentality.

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