I call 911 whenever someone is kicking my ass, attacking me with an ax, or if someone has just fallen out of a tall building.

Other times might include when a rabid dog bites your leg, or when you find a large amount of money and don’t know who it belongs to.

If someone said they were going to kick my ass after school, I used to always call 911 before leaving the building.

I call 9–1-1 whenever I’m bored. I just can’t understand why the staff doesn’t like me.

I wouldn’t call them for a domestic dispute, especially if I were African-American.

One time not to call them is for homework questions. They are kind of like Fluther in that regard. Don’t, for instance, call and ask them how many tons of bananas come from Honduros every year, or who the 13th president was (Millard Filmore), or what the difference is between Dulia, Hyperdulia, Latria etc.

NEVER call to play a joke on them. For instance, i.e Don’t call and say that your elderly neighbor is trapped in a burning house if he / she is not. But if you do, claim you ARE that person so they will be the one arrested for the misinformation.

Don’t call and say, “I’ve Fallen! And I CAN’T GET UP!” or “I’m having Ch-Ch-CHEST PAINS!” That one’s SO old.

And don’t call to being funny, saying, “HELP! I’m being attacked by LOBSTERS!!!” They don’t like that one either, speaking from personal experience.

They might think you said ‘mobsters’ and not realize it was a joke,

When you have insurance that’s good enough to handle EVERYTHING!

I call 911 when I see hazards on the freeway, like the time a sofa fell off a pick up, or when I see a disabled car in a lane of traffic and no cops there yet.

My cat called 911 by jumping up on the desk in order to gaze out of the window. She knocked the handset off of the cradle (this is 1988 for those that have no idea what that meant), walked across the phone, and pressed the programmed 911 button.

The responder could only hear the rustling of paper (the cat settling down on a stack of paper) and not responding to the pleas. The apt. complex attendant let the aids into my apt. only to find the cat with the phone receiver off of the hook.

This was not an appropriate time to call 911.

Like, when you think you smell smoke in the house in July, and the daycare comes pounding up the stairs to report smoke, so all The Guy’s show up…and they turn off the heater you accidentally keyed when you were trying to turn on the AC for the first time that year.
Also, when my son got stuck in the mailbox.
Also when I called them because I woke up smelling smoke…. because the fire in the fire place didn’t fully extinguish the night before.
Oh and also when my daughter got her tongue stuck in the fridge.
I am a 911 nightmare.

When I worked in the deli at Schnucks in Germantown, TN. a woman called 9–1-1 requesting the police when we wouldn’t give her a sales price for an item—the food sale sign was placed on the wrong item, and she demanded the sale price on the sign.

Her rational as to why to notify the police via 9–1-1? She wanted to press charges—for false advertising.

Yes, anyone who has worked retail already know how many crazy people exist but function normally in the real world—somehow,

It might be a refreshing experience for the 9–1-1 call center if you called WITHOUT an emergency every now and then.

Think about it. Everyone calls with dire and stressful emergencies ALL THE TIME. Not only do they have to determine which are real emergencies from all the hundreds of prank calls they must get every day, they also have to prioritize the emergencies. Is someone who will probably die anyway from a gunshot more important than someone who may or may not die in an auto accident? Is an elderly person who falls down the stairs more important than a house on fire from candles?

These things the 9–1-1 call center must prioritize and it must be very stressful—as are all the prank calls that lead them on wild goose chases, hauling around all that fire-fighting and life saving equipment dozens of times daily..

So, why not merely call them every once in a while and tell them that they can relax for once because you HAVE no emergency?

You just called so they could take a break from all the stress their job entails. That they should just take a break and enjoy themselves every now and then.

Or, you could TELL them that there is an emergency, and when the crews arrive, you could THEN tell them to relax, there is no emergency, and offer maybe some lemonade.

They will probably tell you that they wish they got MOIRE calls like yours. But even if they don’t tell you, or tell you otherwise, you still can know that you spread a little kindness in a world gone mad. Just a little calm amid the storm.

Do not call 911 to order pizza.

@Yellowdog Do not call 911 to tell them thanks. As much as they might like it, a card with pizza coupon would do much more, and t would not distract them from real emergencies.

First responders racing to answer your “thank you” call would be mighty pissed that they jeopardized their lives driving through stop lights and stop signs to get to your non emergency.

@zenvelo I was hoping he was trying to be funny.

Don’t call 9–1-1 when you’ve gone camping in your electric car, the battery is drained, and, contrary to what you were told, there are no currant bushes to plug into.

I called 911 when I hit a deer. I didn’t know what else to do and my brain was in shock.

That was valid call @anniereborn.

Don’t call 9–1-1 when your inside straight didn’t come through.

DO NOT call 9–1-1 when your condom fails!

Unless you want an ambulance and an ASAP abortion clinic appointment

Of course you shouldn’t to order a pizza, but if you are sending them one, you can call to ask what they want on it.

You can call to report a bomb threat on one end of town, so you can rob a bank over on the other side of town.

Probably this

Don’t call 911 to ask them to remove branches in your yard after a wind storm.

If someone robs you at gunpoint, and steals all your crack, absolutely call 911 and report it quickly so the thief does not get away!

:D

Don’t call 911 if you are the perpetrator or instigator of the crime.

My motto is, let the victim do that.

My daughter called 911 when she was about 3. Cops showed up at the door. I looked at them curiously.
“We got a 911 call from this address,” they said.
Right about then we all noticed little Corrie edging herself behind me, trying to disappear.
I pulled her out and said “What?”
“I just wanted to talk to my daddy!!!” she wailed.
Poor kid!

^^ Ohhhhhhh!
I would have cried.

They get bored late at night. If you have insomnia problems, call them and ask for a bedtime story.

When there is an eclipse, call them and shout, “holy cow, do you see that?!!?”

Call them, then play this

DON’T call to talk through your feelings about a tough break up.