I have a similar experience with my sister. She feels we were in an abusive household, and that she especially caught the brunt of it and has said that every household they (parents) pick one, meaning she was targeted for abuse. She also uses a more formal dialect when referring to our parents.
Here’s the thing, we both remember very similarly the events in the household, she was just affected differently. We didn’t have any sexual or physical abuse in the house, she would say the same.
She’s a different person than me, and she had some bad things happen outside of our household that I think had a big effect on how she reacts.
I think some of the therapy did her some harm, but I also know some therapists did her some good. There are good and bad therapists.
She has much higher expectations of people than I do, and so she experiences more anger, hurt, and anxiety. That’s my perception and my layman’s psychoanalysis. She thinks because I have lower expectations I let myself get run over.
I know a lot of people similar to her, and they all seem to have some things in common. Many of them have a very limited memory of childhood. They can’t remember any happy memories or very few. They get hurt by things that most people think are no big deal or even find funny. They sometimes see sinister intentions where none exist, and in some ways the intention doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change that they are hurt.
I wish my sister didn’t feel so traumatized. She did have more traumatic things happen to her than I did in her youth. I’m not saying it’s her pain is her fault or anything like that, I only mean I want her to not feel so much pain and anguish.