I would simply wear a piece of duct tape over my mouth for everyone to see for the rest of the day.

I would apologize for the assumption, without over-doing it, and move on.

“Hello Fat, I’m Dad!”

I would never ask a lady a question like that anyway. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, as my Old Pappy always said.

Pregnant women “glow” with beauty.
I’d have gone down that line.

There is no way to recover from that. Just say ‘Sorry’ and move on. As my ol’ pappy said, “when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging”.

There is no backing out. The best you can do is to distract attention from the disastrous comment through provision of one more egregious: “Are you pregnant?” “No?” “In that case, would you like to be?”

I would say, “I beg your pardon,” then I’d learn a lesson from my tactless stupidity.

Unless a woman is obviously expecting – clearly in the last couple of months, and with her condition grossly disproportionate to her body – you don’t ask any questions about a pregnancy.

@Love_my_doggie
“I beg your pardon” is the polite version of “What the fuck did you just say to me?”.

I knew a young woman, a dentist’s receptionist, who was very obese. One day a patient asked her, unwisely, if she was pregnant. The young woman took note because it suggested that her abdomen was disproportionately large. She saw a doctor. Turned out that she had a 30-pound tumor in her abdomen. The tactless question saved her life.

I wouldn’t have asked, and if the question had slipped out, I probably would have said “Oops, I’m sorry—none of my business anyway.”

But I would have thought of the dentist’s receptionist for at least a minute there.

I would simply turn and walk briskly from the office, buy a plane ticket for a city far away and live there under an assumed name for the rest of my life.

I’d just apologize and move on like so many others said here. If the woman holds weight in her stomach she knows it, I would hope she’s not angry.

If someone asked me I would immediately make a joke or do something to reassure the person it’s ok. I’m 53, so I guess maybe they would be telling me I look young.

@kneesox That’s some story.

@ragingloli “I beg your pardon” is the polite version of “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

Not always. “I beg your pardon?” can also mean, “What the f*ck did I just say or do, and why isn’t the floor opening up to obliterate me?”

“That’s wonderful! My brain is mostly fat.”

I would paint an “L” on my forehead

A well deserved L.

Lunatic?

Loser?

Lycanthrope?

Loli

laryngotracheobronchitis

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