Social Question

Dutchess_III's avatar

What do peeping Tom's get out of spying on women?

Asked by Dutchess_III (46807points) August 27th, 2021
42 responses
“Great Question” (5points)

Why do they do it?

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Answers

JLoon's avatar

It’s not complicated. They do it for the same reason intimate partners look at each other’s bodies – sexual pleasure & erotic stimulation.

The difference is they’re unable or unwilling to interract in ways that lead to real intimacy. So it becomes almost like stealing, and includes the excitment that comes from the risk of getting caught.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Thank you @Thank JLoon.

Why aren’t more women caught spying on men?

zenvelo's avatar

@Dutchess_III It is quicker and easier for a man to masturbate whle hiding behind a tree or sneaking a look in someone’s window. Not that a woman couldn’t, I just think it is a lot easier for a man.

JLoon's avatar

@Dutchess_III – I really don’t know. But you’re right. From what I’ve read studies find that females engage in “peeping” behavior far less frequently than men.

It could be that males rely more on visual stimulation for sexual arousal. Or…maybe we’re just angels ;)

Dutchess_III's avatar

Or maybe we don’t get anything out of seeing a man’s junk.

rebbel's avatar

I think that @JLoon hit the hammer on the head…., figuratively.
Erotic stimulation.

I remember when I was, maybe fourteen, I was on a playground, around dusk, when suddenly, in the corner of my eye I saw a woman, through the window, in, what I assumed was, her bedroom, changing from day cloths into evening gown.
Man…., I came back days in a row, around the same time, but I never saw her again.
So, I was a creep, a peeping Tom.
Without knowing what that was.
But yeah, it was mesmerising, I can’t lie.

Another thing: both men and women like voyeurism and/or exhibitionism.
Take couples that engage in mutual masturbation, for example.
Watch and be watched.

JLoon's avatar

@Dutchess_III – Ha! True, but I keep having to explain anyway ;)

Really though, when I feel attracted to a guy I do start to appreciate certain things about their body – broad shoulders, muscular legs, flat stomach, etc. etc. AND I want to see more. But I just can’t understand why men seem to believe their dick is the most attractive feature they’ve got.
Sorry guys. It’s just not 0_o

Dutchess_III's avatar

I like well muscled forearm. I can’t say they turn me on sexually tho. I just find it attractive.
Then I switch to his personality.

JLoon's avatar

@zenvelo, and @rebbel – I think since we’re talking about something that mostly males seem to do, it helps to hear what men themselves feel is going on. So kudos for speaking up.

I know what I think I know because I’m constantly curious about sex & everything that gets written and discussed about it, AND because I’ve caught guys spying on me more than once and confronted them a few times.

Their explanations were…interesting. But it wasn’t like we were having an intellectual conversation.

gorillapaws's avatar

@JLoon “But I just can’t understand why men seem to believe their dick is the most attractive feature they’ve got.”

I think it’s something as simple as: “I like boobs and vaginas, therefore women MUST like penises and testicles.”

I know that’s not true, but it is a little weird that it’s not true—biologically speaking.

JLoon's avatar

@gorillapaws – Lol!

Completely logical, but totally wrong ;)

gorillapaws's avatar

So that kind of begs the question is the lack of interest inherent to the organs themselves, or is it in the mind of the woman that isn’t interested in them? Another way to think about it is do lesbians and bisexual women have as similar fascination with vaginas and boobs as straight men do? or is it equally unappealing as male genitals? Furthermore, do gay men enjoy getting dick-pics or is that universally unappealing?

Dutchess_III's avatar

In my experience gay med DO like getting dick pics. They like men in tight, tight clothes and in Speedos.
Ick.

rebbel's avatar

For me it was not about the sex organs, per se.
It was the undressing, and I guess the anticipation of what was to be revealed.
(Breasts were of interest to me.)
I still am not so much interested/mesmerised by full nudity, I’ve always liked semi clothed people more sexy, more exciting.

JLoon's avatar

@gorrillapaws – Hmmm… well bi girl here will give it a try :

Yes, you could say I do have a “similar fascination” with certain areas of female anatomy. BUT, it’s not instant stimulus-response. I’m not Pavlov’s dog, and I don’t melt every time I see boobage. I need something more to start my arousal. Hard to explain, but basically it’s a flood of cues & signals that draw to the whole person.

After that, show me the rest. Please.

gorillapaws's avatar

@JLoon That makes sense. I think men definitely tend to be more like Pavlovian puppies.

chyna's avatar

My ex husband told me he didn’t understand why women didn’t just stand around fondling their boobs all day because if he had boobs, he would.

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOLL!

JLoon's avatar

@chyna – Ha! Keep an eye on that guy ;)

Zaku's avatar

Peeping Toms are up to other thing(s) in addition to the typical things men enjoy about looking at women. Things which are often defined as disorders, mental illness, and/or crimes, involving secretly violating the privacy of others.

Jeruba's avatar

A female therapist said to me once, in shared exasperation, “What is it with men and their penises?”

SQUEEKY2's avatar

A cheap thrill on doing something they know is wrong,and maybe getting away with it.
And women do ,doit as well they are just better at not getting caught.

Dutchess_III's avatar

What do you think women would be looking for @SQUEEKY2?

Right @Jeruba? And it goes back to antiquity. They aren’t just obsessed with their penises. They’re obsessed.with.other men’s penises.
Remember that passage in the Bible where the male author laments that this one race of men were hung like donkeys?
The women don’t care but the men sure do.

rebbel's avatar

Baby donkey, me.

gorillapaws's avatar

@Dutchess_III Women can be pretty obsessed with their/other women’s breasts. It’s on another level with penises though, you’re right about that.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I wish my breasts were smaller. Yeah, I’m jealous of women who can wear a cute sun dress with some built in support so they don’t need to wear a bra.
I can’t go anywhere without a bra.
Smaller breasts would have been an advantage when I was active in sports.
I. Want. Them. Gone.

raum's avatar

Breasts: attractive
Vagina: attractive
Penis: attractive
Testicles: sweaty, gross…hard pass

Dutchess_III's avatar

You find penises attractive @raum?

raum's avatar

I think the human body is attractive.
Minus sweaty balls. Haha

raum's avatar

I don’t think voyeurism is just about finding bodies attractive. It’s actually a disorder under the latest edition of the DSM.

Brian1946's avatar

I don’t think even well-ventilated, dry nads are attractive.

[Possible TMI]:

As a testament to the unattractiveness of male privates, my wife, who is 100% hetero, said that she’d rather watch lesbian porno than gay porno.

I agree, which is why I almost always at least wear underwear, even when I’m at home alone. I sure don’t want to traumatize any peeping Tammy’s that have mistaken me for Boris Johnson! ;-o

kritiper's avatar

Give it up! You’ll never understand men…

Dutchess_III's avatar

Who you talking to @kritiper?

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Mr. NoMores Neighborhood. Can you say: “Perverts”?

Nomore_lockout's avatar

Or, maybe they’re just odd balls who never had a woman in their life before. I mean, after you’ve been married a million years, you get comfortable with each other and shit like that doesn’t seem voyeuristic any more. When we first got married, we’d sometimes shower together. No big deal and it saved water. Beth didn’t mind and I didn’t mind..Sometimes we’d get frisky sometimes not. And when there’s no one around we sometimes go from the shower to the bed room nude if we don’t have a towel handy. (Grand kids just drop the damn things in their rooms and never put them back). Big deal. Not like we never saw each other in our birthday suits. If I look away or tell her to put some clothes on, she’ll say something like Oh, stop acting so stupid and find me a towel please. Lol..Married life does strange things to a man and and woman. If you’ve always been close anyway. No big whoop.

Kropotkin's avatar

There should be some sort of portal for exhibitionists and voyeurs to fulfill their desires.

chyna's avatar

Hmm, maybe like a porn site?

Dutchess_III's avatar

@Jeruba said ”A female therapist said to me once, in shared exasperation, “What is it with men and their penises?”
It seems to be some sort of instinct. When my son turned 4 we had a birthday party for him. There were all kinds of balloons lying around afterward.
My son picked up an inflated long one, held it up to his groin and said, in astonishment “This is bigger than my penis!!!!”
Seriously, son?! Lol! The balloon was taller than his whole body!

omtatsat's avatar

What a punishment-to name a child Tom!

omtatsat's avatar

@Dutchess_III And for alot of males, ” they are their penis”.

Dutchess_III's avatar

No kidding @omtatsat. It’s the be all and end all.

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