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Nick88's avatar

Being friends with a woman who is Japanese?

Asked by Nick88 (61points) 1 week ago
19 responses
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I’d very much love to visit Japan for at least a couple weeks. Or even live there for a short period of time and then go back home at some point in the future. Let’s say for the moment I wanted to live in Japan right this second hypothetically. Before I get into it I just want to say I’m quite familiar with the Japanese culture, etiquette, and people. Or at least some elements of them. And I’m willing to learn to speak some Japanese fluently. I’m not looking to date or anything like that. I’m very reserved and I’m autistic. I’d just want a woman in Japan to have simply as a good friend and no more than that. Someone who’s trustworthy, friendly, honest, nice, and doesn’t lie. I try to be a nice person, and I’m honest for the most part. I also respect the culture and admire it as well. I respect women of all kinds and nationalities. I’m video game and arcade game fan, and I like amusement park rides, and virtual reality rides a lot. I’m sure there are Japanese women who like these things in their free time.

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Mimishu1995's avatar

Before I can answer the question, I need to ask: how much of Japanese culture do you know? Because you have been asking a lot of questions related to Japanese women.

And also why do you want a Japanese woman specifically? What is wrong with women in your place?

SergeantQueen's avatar

For sure look into the culture and how to properly communicate and all that so you don’t come off rude. But I mean really, treat them how you would treat anyone else? You really shouldn’t need to approach this any different aside from the cultural differences.

Just be yourself and honest. Maybe try some meeting apps while you are there, or maybe try and get a PenPal now, and you can arrange something for when you visit? Maybe see if you can be (I don’t know the term) ”“Adopted”” by a family for a week so they can help you?

SergeantQueen's avatar

Just respect the culture, follow their etiquette, but don’t overthink it. We are all people lol.

Nick88's avatar

I happen to know a little bit about Japanese culture. I learned from reading books about Japan. Here’s what I know: Rather than shaking hands, they bow to one another for a number of reasons such as greetings. Tea ceremonies. Samurai and shoguns. Traditional martial arts developed for fighting by the samurai. Gift exchanges between friends and neighbors. As for me being interested in a female Japanese friend, well first off that has nothing to do with me being in any way specific. I know that apart from the cultural difference, people are people and everyone’s different as an individual. I’ll be honest. Sure I’d like to have a female Japanese friend, or any Asian female friend but I’m really not worried nor obsessed about it. It’s not like I’m in any hurry. Does all this answer your questions? In the meantime, I suppose I could find another woman in my hometown for the time being.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Nick88 You seem to know more about the culture than the usual stereotypes animes tell you. That’s a good start.

But you are still beating around the bush for my second question. You don’t tell me why you are interested in them specifically. You don’t tell me what they have that women in your hometown don’t. You say “I suppose I could find another woman in my hometown for the time being”. Maybe you don’t mean it, but you are giving me the impression that women in your hometown are just a backup in case you can’t find a Japanese woman.

snowberry's avatar

For starters you could try finding a Japanese culture center or a Japanese church near where you live . Start going there regularly. That would be a good start.

Nick88's avatar

I can name a couple reason why I’d like to be friends with a woman who’s Japanese:
For one thing, they’re generally very beautiful and feminine. I also heard they are very nice and polite. Where I live, I had a female friend who’s American of Indian and Guyana descent. She was basically a liar and a user. For example, she’d ask me for gas money which is extremely rare for a friend if ever to do something like that. She also made me feel guilty about her own problems when she ought to be taking care of her own problems and solving them instead of relying on people to take care of her problems. For the most part, I’m a nice, kind, generous, polite, and respectful guy. I realize there are women who are like the one I just described to you everywhere in the world, but there are nice and cool ones as well. If and whenever I visit or even live in Japan for a short period of time, I’d just like to have a Japanese female friend for the reasons I just stated. I’ll just be extra careful about whom I find. I really admire and respect the Japanese culture, and I’m willing to learn to speak some basic Japanese words and phrases. I wouldn’t be doing so simply because she’s Japanese or Asian alone. That’d really be absurd. But because she’s beautiful, very nice, caring, and friendly, and I’d do the very same for her. Unless there’s still something else missing, I hope this clears up the misunderstanding.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Nick88 Then you just met one bad person. There are bad people everywhere, even Japan.

Do you think all people in your hometown are bad people?

Nick88's avatar

No, of course not. There’s scum everywhere in the world. Anyways, the reason I ask questions about Japan, people, and culture is because I like to know as much as I possibly can about them if I were to ever visit Japan at some time in the future. I also like reading books as well about them. Better to be prepared than sorry.

Nick88's avatar

I also know there are great people where I live as well.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Are you ok with having a Japanese male friend instead of a woman?

SergeantQueen's avatar

@Nick88 I do appreciate you elaborating to @Mimishu1995 questions, there are lots of problems with people fetishizing Japanese or any female of an Asian decent and it is really gross, I don’t get that vibe from you. Could be why some people may be thrown off by your interest

Sorry about that experience you had. I am glad that you are actually researching this culture though! It’s important to gain better understandings of things outside of your hometown.

Nick88's avatar

I find this a rather dumb question no offense. However, I’ll answer it anyways: Of course I’m fine with having having guy friends in Japan. All these questions about Japan and the Japanese people, and this one in particular were just me simply wanting to know more about the culture which I know quite a bit about some elements of it. They have nothing to do with me having any sort of fetish at all with any women in the world. I see women as fellow human beings, not objects of any kind. I read a lot of books about Japan, and I’ve watched a lot of videos about it on Youtube. I hope this clears everything up.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Nick88 To people with a fetish, that “dumb” question will send them in a nasty cognitive dissonance.

So far you seem to be genuinely interested in the people and culture. You asking a lot of specific questions about Japanese women can really be off-putting to a lot of people. But given that I know who you are, I think that’s not abnormal at all. You are simply interested, just not in a “conventional” way.

I have a suggestion: why don’t you try to research about Japanese men as well, if you are interested in the culture and don’t have any obsession? You repeatedly stated that you see everyone as equal, so it would help to understand Japanese men too.

I also find it interesting that you repeatedly stated that you don’t have any obsession. You are quite defensive about that. Do you have people around you constantly telling you that your interest is weird?

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