@SergeantQueen I am very sorry to hear you’re hurting and that has led to self-harm.
The absence of withdrawal symptoms has nothing to do with how effective the medicine was. I’m glad to hear you had no withdrawal symptoms when you stopped taking the medicine. Some psychiatric medicines have horrendous withdrawal symptoms that can be truly frightening.
Please talk to your doctor, and tell them you stopped. Please add that you have been self-harming while off the medicine. That may be an important point for the doctor to know.
I live with a mental illness, and I recovered. I do a few things to keep myself happy and healthy:
1. I meditate every single morning. It’s not as hard as it seems. There are apps for it and tons of YouTube videos to help. Meditation is the most important thing I do for my mental health.
2. I take medicine daily as prescribed by my psychiatrist.
3. I do therapy every other week and more often in times of stress.
4. I’m sober.
5. I get good sleep.
6. I eat only healthy food.
I understand depression. I used to live with it. I hated myself. Slowly, I got better. I know what the black pit feels like where no light shines. It f*cking sucks.
Recovery is possible.
I wish you the best of luck.