Social Question

wynterromance's avatar

What do I do after my friend and I kissed?

Asked by wynterromance (8points) November 1st, 2021
10 responses
“Great Question” (2points)

I’m in a situation and I don’t know what to do. So, the other night my friend, who’s a girl (I’m also a girl), had a party for her birthday. After the whole party was done, I stayed back, and we were drinking and smoking. A lot happened and I just needed a buzz to clear my head and help me relax. She did too. So, me, her and her other friend started drinking, smoking, and talking, just trying to get what happened before out our heads. We were talking about a bunch of things but ended up on the topic of “liking girls.” In the past, and during that conversation, my friend always shies away from the topic, saying she’s not interested in girls or says that she hasn’t experimented with a girl to know if she likes one etc. (And this was not me trying to out her or anything) But from what I was seeing the whole night at the party signs were pointing in different directions. So (and I now see how I might have been wrong for this), I pulled her face close to mine to see what she would do, and instead of pushing me off or saying chill, she actually leaned in and out lips touched but it wasn’t a full kiss. I kinda pulled back because I was just trying to test something, not more. By this time, her friend had got up for a moment then she came back, and we were still on the topic of liking girls and my friend continued to deny the claims. So, I was looking at her like, “Now you know damn well what just happened, we still gon lie like this?” So, she got up and I got up after her and grabbed her hand. (Typing this now I feel so bad that I did this) I stood up behind her while she was facing her friend that was on the couch and I started playing with one of her nipples. And let’s just say her reaction wasn’t one indicating that she didn’t like it. After, she went to lay on the couch because her friend got up and we lay facing each other. I started sucking on her nipple and again, the reaction wasn’t her wanting me to stop. Then I stopped, titled my head towards hers and she leaned in and kissed me. Like a full-on kiss. After I got up and I just sat on the couch staring at the t.v and then she got up and went to her room. I honestly didn’t even know when she got up. the next morning, I assume she told her other friend but when I came around her, she acted like nothing happened. While I couldn’t even look at her.

I’m so confused, and I really don’t know what to do. We haven’t talked about the situation, I was trying to move on like nothing happened, but the more time passes by, the more I don’t know if I can. But I already know how the conversation is going to go. Should I still bring it up? What if I make things worse? My friend always says she’s a little flirty when substances get in her and I don’t want to misread what happened that night as one thing, when it was only her being under the influence. Please if anybody has any advice or any take on the situation, the help is greatly appreciated.

(Also, we both identify as heterosexual cis females.)

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Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Welcome to the wonderful world of being human! You have discovered that sexuality is a continuum. The vast majority of people fall somewhere on the scale between totally heterosexual and totally homosexual. In between those 2 extremes, there are many ways of existing. Many people are naturally bi. The trick is to be comfortable with wherever you fit.

The good thing is there is no right or wrong way to be. Our culture has many beliefs it presses on us making us think one way is right and another is wrong. Thankfully many people are waking up to the knowledge that being something other that totally heterosexual is perfectly fine and completely natural.

I suggest you relax. If you feel like experimenting further, do so with a consenting partner and enjoy yourself. Relax.

If you feel like you need to, you can talk to a therapist about how you feel. They’re trained to help you make your own choices.

All the best to you.

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kritiper's avatar

I’ve seen girls kiss before and It doesn’t seem like any big deal. If it happens again, be wary of anything else this other girl may try to pull, then back off or take her on.

omtatsat's avatar

A bit of alcohol and smoking loosen things up a bit. It breaks down inhibitions. It’s through such experiences that one can ask oneself in retrospect “do I really want that” or “is that me”?

Dutchess_III's avatar

It was just an experiment. Pretty sure we all have one in our history. I didn’t like it at all.

jca2's avatar

If you liked it and want more of it, bring it up and see how she responds. If you don’t want more of it, don’t mention it.

JLoon's avatar

It sounds fun – and familiar ;p

Enjoy that moment for what it was, but also expore it with your friend for what it might be. I realized at 14 I was bisexual and it hasn’t wrecked my sense of who or what I am.

So talk with your friend about what you think happened, but do it in a way that makes it safe for both of you to say what you really feel without harming your relationship.

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