Traumas that one is not consciously aware of will be the source of expectations and behaviors that distort one’s sense of reality, which they will rationalize and prevent changing how one feels and acts. Discovering the existence and history of a trauma, which the mind had hidden so as to avoid feeling emotional pain, allows one to understand why they feel as they do and to work through these feelings. While the recalled memory will not disappear, the pain it produces will diminish over time. If traumatic events remain hidden, they will increasingly complicate one’s life and produce more pains.

I have always questioned that.

I agree with @Bill1939 completely. And I have had lots of therapy of this type.

A well-trained therapist is schooled in techniques to help a person work through the pain of a trauma without it retraumatizing him/her.

I only add that to the excellent answer from Bill.

@Bill1939: Thank you for your answer.

@luigirovatti, I hope you find a therapist who can help you uncover the dynamics of your feelings and help you to work through them. It will not be easy, nor will it happen quickly. If you do not give up, however, it will happen. We are here for you whenever you feel the need to reach out.