Pretty sure that at 17 I really had no idea WHAT my kids were really up to! I know my folks had no idea what I was really up to when I was 17.

@Dutchess_III You must’ve been quite sneaky, lol. I was too at times, lol.

Actually, my son graduated early and moved out at 17.

@Dutchess_III Oh, wow.

I thought he’d make it 30 days so I wasn’t worried.
He never came back.
I never really got to say good bye and that makes me cry.
He’s married now, with 4 kids.
I want to go back in time to when all my kids were in their rooms, asleep, and I knew where they were and that they were safe.

Talk about a derail! I’m sorry!

I know where you’re going with this. IIf you had to bet I know which way the smart money would go. Yes there is a double standard.
Here is an interesting SNL sketch along similar lines. Teacher trial
Now imagine the sexes reversed. Yikes!

No
But at an earlier age my oldest daughter at only age 13 yrs old went to her friends house for overnight and since I couldn’t get ahold of her soo after to confirm her safety.. I called the cops to pick her up as the girls mother was not complying ( I donno..etc).
At 4 Am cops arrived with her in their car and the siren sounding ( i told him to do that as a lesson to her after the cops called me at told me that her friend ( same age) and her went to the highway and got picked up by a group of 21 year olds going to a drive in movie that night!
It was further discovered that they went with them until the movie was over..but nothing happened .
I banned her from visitng that friend after that.
Less than a year later her friend became pregnant, expelled from school and life ruined.
————-
This scenario could had happened to a male at that age just as well and I would still had done the same thing.

@Inspired_2write Must’ve been a traumatic experience as a parent.

This reminds me of my friend’s sister visiting us. Laurie was in a sorority, and a little sister to my fraternity. Her 17 year old sister Kathy visited for the weekend, and Laurie brought her to a party at the house.

Laurie kept a close eye on Kathy, although I lot of us danced with her at the party and she did get a bit drunk. Nothing happened that night, although I did date Kathy for a few months the next year. Kathy was much more mature than most of the guys in the fraternity.

I would let a 17 year old visiting a college to go to a party, provided they were with someone and each was responsible for the other.

No, but luckily my 16 year old daughter has no interest in participating in such activities.

@DeLorean24
Tramatic?
Crap I was angry at the girls mother who didn’t see anything wrong with it.
Well her tune changes when the Poice showed up at her door and her ex husband demanding where his daughter was etc
Soon after that girl lived with her father then on ( during the prgenancy).
Both parents ‘GAVE” that young girl some land and a hughe inheritance of which she knew about and thus it just maybe that it was planned by her to get to it sooner.
Sad but she only had Grade 7 schooling?
Thank God that my daughter continued her schooling and is now well on her way with a good secure job/career.

At 17 I was already in college. Generally speaking, kids are their grade not their age.

I wouldn’t want my high school kid going to a college party, but actually I don’t want him/her going to high school house parties either. Drunken mess usually, sometimes some rapes, all sorts of risky behavior.

What I would care about the most is that my kid is with another person who I trust not to get very drunk and to not leave each other alone. Buddy system. I also want my kid to know they can call me no matter what, and I’ll come get them.

No to both.

My daughter is 19, in college, and yet to be to a college party. Not really her bag.

My daughter had the same contempt for sororities as the rest of the family. It’s a rather odd coincidence. But the credit isn’t ours. It’s that snooty education from the French school. My grandsons her nephews followed her through both grammar & high school. The eldest is now in his 3rd year at the University, and instead of a frat, this is also his third year as a volunteer fireman in some town outside Ithaca, N.Y. None of us had even a clue that he hadn’t outgrown his boyhood obsession with the fire fighting business. He’s going for a degree in civil engineering, and it drives me crazy. Like his sister, he has inherited his grandmother’s crippling disease. Not one of them could give a shit about money. I swear if there’s a God, He certainly has a sense of humor when it comes to me.

It doesn’t matter if it is a “Frat” party or a Birthday party with people you assume you know.
What matters is if you have a good handle on how mature your 17 year old is.
Most of this lands on the parent side and if you have done your job in raising your children to make good choices. You either trust them because you have a good relationship or you don’t have a clue.

I would but only if their 17 and a half.

Odd question. It assumes you would know that they wanted to go to a party like this…that they told you. At 17, that is highly unlikely these days. If they asked, I’d have to ask a few questions in return: why they were invited, who else was going, what sort of oversight would there be, what time would they be home, etc. And it would really depend on how dependable and responsible I felt the child was. It really doesn’t matter if it is a boy or a girl. Both have downfalls. But in the end, it again would depend on if they would respect my wishes. At 17, most kids believe they are adults with adult reasoning. I could say no and they might go anyway after lying to me about what they would do instead. You know the old saying: It is easier to gain forgiveness than permission.

It was highly unlikely in those days (mine) too @seawulf575.
Every generation does things their parents don’t know about.