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Musiclover45's avatar

Is it strange that I’m planning to give my mother figure a friendship ring?

Asked by Musiclover45 (34points) 1 week ago
15 responses
“Great Question” (1points)

I’m planning on giving a friendship ring to her as a token of our special relationship that we have and had over the years and was just wondering if it’s strange to do that at all? cause I’m nervous to what she would think by me giving her a friendship ring.

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Jeruba's avatar

If you are nervous about it, that suggests that you see something wrong with it. Do you?

Why are you calling it a friendship ring in particular? That usually means engaged-to-be-engaged. You can just give a person a ring. Is there any reason to be concerned about possible confusion with a romantic intent?

A lot depends on your age and your age difference, and especially whether yours really is a mother-daughter or mother-son relationship.

Maybe you could give her some other nice piece that isn’t a ring and isn’t meant to be worn all the time.

In short, there are too many variables and too much guesswork for us to know the answer. But I suspect that you already do know it.

jca2's avatar

What is a :“mother figure?”

Forever_Free's avatar

I see nothing wrong in this even without knowing more information. You feel you have had a special relationship over years. This sounds like an important gesture for you. Then follow your feelings and do it. It sounds like It is a blessing to have her in your life.
I grew up with one of my grandmothers living in our house along with my parents for many years. My own Grandmother was a Mother figure to me as well as a Grandmother.
Come back and share how it goes.

jca2's avatar

As far as giving jewelry, I gave my mom a ring from Hawaii when I went there when I was 13. It wasn’t a “friendship ring,” it was just a beautiful ring. There’s nothing wrong with giving various types of jewelry to your relatives and friends, and it doesn’t have to have a label on it.

BeeePollen's avatar

I think it’s fine, different people feel weird about different gift types. You do you!

For example, I love getting gift cards. I love getting nothing on my birthday, and then getting a present for no reason at a random time. Some of my friends are the same. Other friends HATE getting gift cards, they feel like it’s not personal enough. Some of them HATE surprise presents, or they feel neglected if they don’t get one on their birthday, or they hate getting any kind of presents at all. Some friends don’t like big presents, some only like big presents. Some of my friends don’t like bringing presents to a party because it’s like their presents are being compared. Realistically, I don’t think most people can keep track of that for all of their friends. Just do your best. I’ve f***ed up before but nobody’s ever been mad.

She might think it’s weird, and if so, no big deal. Or she might not. It sounds like you have a good enough relationship that she can be honest with you, so I don’t think it hurts to give it a shot. If she likes it, great. If she doesn’t, no reflection on you.

raum's avatar

The ring, on its own, doesn’t make me hesitate.

But your hesitancy makes me hesitate.

Pandora's avatar

It all depends. I don’t know if you are male or female. I have what I call adopted children friends. They started out as my childrens friends and keep in touch with me and some even call me ma. They are all adults now and I kind of see them like my adults kids. I call them my children from another mother. One had her mom pass away years ago. She gives me gifts and treats me like a friend and a mom figure. I would think it sweet if she gave me a friendship ring. However, if a guy gave it to me I may feel odd about it. Especially when I was younger but even more so now because we don’t really stay in touch much and their mom is alive and they have good relationships with them.

It would be more appropriate if they gave the ring to their actual mom whom they keep in touch with regularly.
So my point is it is more of a situational thing. If you don’t have a mom you are close to or has passed on. Then I think they would be glad you see them as a mom and supportive friend.
If you are a guy who does have a mom you adore but aren’t related to this person by marriage, then a card would suffice and be sweet without giving creepy vibes.

LostInParadise's avatar

There is nothing wrong with giving a ring as a present, but calling it a friendship ring does not seem right. Friendship rings are for two people of equal status, but the fact that you refer to her as a mother figure implies a different type of relationship. How would you feel if she gave you a friendship ring?

Forever_Free's avatar

@Pandora Why does it matter if they are male or female? Are males not able to extend the same heartfelt wishes and gestures as females?

raum's avatar

@Forever_Free I think it’s because there used to be engaged-to-be-engaged connotations to friendship rings when I was a kid. But kids these days seem to give friendship rings without any of that context. So maybe the oedipus vibe is a generational thing.

Forever_Free's avatar

@raum this is a child to parent situation. Not the same thing as peer to peer confusion.
It still should not have any difference if the child role here is male or female and wants to show a gesture of what it means to them.
If I was in a situation as an adult and supporting a younger person on this level, I would not care if they were male or female.
I have supported many children over the years in a youth reading program as well as a Big Brother to a mentee. When they have bestowed some gesture to me (no matter what it is), I am humbled and honored that I made a difference in their life. Gender has nothing to do with it, nor the gift. It is the action and the act. Overthinking on either part takes away the organic authenticity.

raum's avatar

@Forever_Free My first response to this question was that the ring itself doesn’t make me hesitate.

But the OP even asking this question makes me hesitate.

A child would probably give a ring without giving it a second thought.

Why is the OP hesitant?

Forever_Free's avatar

@raum Yes, I get that the OP is nervous. My question wasn’t related to this. It was about gender not mattering.

raum's avatar

@Forever_Free It’s kind of a self-fulfilling thing. Gender doesn’t matter, unless the OP thinks it matters.

Which I’m assuming they do since they used the phrase “mother figure” and not just “parent”.

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